Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

So Fracked up! What would you have said, if anything?

FIL is super controlling when it comes to food. The man is ridiculous and his children were hungry a lot growing up. He is only okay with people eating at meal times and he serves the plates so he can portion the food out. On Thanksgiving he gave SIL a hard time about her fruit platter that she put out 7 hours before dinner. I brought a spinach dip and put it out 4 hours before dinner I even made double because it is always a hit and there were lots of people. MIL goes to get some and FIL tells her to "save some for everyone else." Now by everyone else I'm pretty sure he meant his illegitimate son who was the result of his infidelity, but I really don't know-long drama story there. So I tell him, with as much annoyance as that there is more in the fridge and he gives her permission to eat some of the dip. WTF?!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • He sounds super controlling. I would be afraid to be with someone like that; I actually wouldn't be with someone like that. I would talk to your mil about getting a divorce from him...gradually in conversation. Start off with a little something until she opens up. She may need help but is too afraid to seek out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't be with him either. What an ass! I can see if he was limiting his childrens intake of junk food and snacking but to limit them all together is just rediculous... and as for limiting what his now adult kids AND WIFE eat.. well thats overboard and he needs to be smacked
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 2:07 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Instead of divorcing him maybe she should learn how to stand up to him. Not everything can be solved by divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • OP here: Here's the thing, I don't get the dynamic between FIL and MIL. I mean my dad is controlling, but my mother never put up with his crap. She would always tell him where to go when he was an ass. My parents have been married for 41 years. DHs parents have been married for 43 years. I agree that MIL needs to stand up to FIL, divorce is such an easy out and too many people take it. I'm not saying that she has never had reason to consider it. I don't see what she gets out of the marriage. She came from a very good home and chose not to get an education and marry this man who has never had a real job (he is a musician) and she has had to work factory and fast food jobs to help make ends meet. The fact that she ever let her kids be hungry is inexcusable. No one stands up to FIL. I don't get it. SIL did once and that caused a lot of discord for a long time. If my mom had heard FIL say that she would have made him eat the (cont
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • the whole thing while throwing around the f-word and telling him where to go. LOL That is something that is acceptable in my family. You can be an ass in my family but expect to be called out on it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Yuck. I had a boyfriend like that once. I dumped his butt and fled to the other side of the country. He was super controlling of food and like to tell me how fat I was (I weighed 85 lbs by the time I finally left). He STILL likes to track me down every few years and tell me that he was only doing what I wanted him to do!! Last time I told him exactly what I thought of him, and I laughed at him. He hasn't called since and that was almost 3 years ago so fingers crossed I think that did the trick!

    Your FIL sounds like he has been allowed to get away with this crap with his family for waaaay too long. At least you don't LIVE with him and only have to see him on holidays and stuff. He can't control YOU! I'd just take great joy in going against his grain. People like that go NUTS when they can't control someone they think they should. It's funny.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:46 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.