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am I paranoid, or should I be worried?

Ok, me and my husband have been married for 13 yrs. Our sex life is (was) normal, we had sex like 2-3 times a week on average. Now, we have sex maybe once a month. In the past 3 weeks, I have found 6 porn magazines, 4 porn videos, and tons in his car. I don't mind that he has it, but why hide it? He has not been showing me very much attention sexually, or physically. So this is why it is bothering me. He has had porn all the yrs I've known him (maybe not this much) but ya I was ok with it. He involved me in his videos, and web surfing. But now its all a secret, and I am being put aside. Is he an addict? Am I just over analyzing this? BTW its been 1 month and 4 days since we made love. And when I try to initiate, he tells mem " he's just not wanting to"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • No you are not being pariniod. Time to have a talk with your DH. Straight up ask him what is up with no sex for over a month. I would ask if he is messing around with someone else. but then it might be medical too. Just talk to him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Medicaly? Hmmmm never thought of that, but I feel like there is something wrong with him not wanting to be with me. But he can masterbate to porn everyday......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • No, I dont think your being paranoid because he's not being himself. Let's face it you know your husband and I wouldnt use the word paranoid but observant, if something doesnt feel right then you should address it right now. Telling him how you feel wouldnt hurt and it probably would allow him to open up to you. He might not be addicted to porn but you since a problem. Sounds like you can work things out if only he meet you half of the way with the communication. I say this because you dont want to accuse him just yet until you find out the bare facts. He may be stress out or having other problems that are causing him not to perform.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I suggest you try something different with your hubby like being a porn star....lol......Did you watch Oprah recently when she had that porn star jenna on?...Men dont want boring they want porn star....If you are finding his magazines and porn easily he is trying to tell you something ....HE WANTS YOU TO DO WHAT PORN STARS DO !....It's just my opinion....Better give it to him because he will start seeking it somewhere else!
    apple31

    Answer by apple31 at 2:53 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • He definitely has a problem of some sort. That's a lot of porn and you're right to think that this could have turned into an adiction.

    It will be a hard conversation to start, but you absolutely have to talk to him about this so you can figure out what's going on. It doesn't make sense for him to be so overly sexualized outside your marriage and then have little to no interest inside your marriage.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:07 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • this is serious. the stores where they sell porn, people meet up and I think he has. If he doesn't want to have sex with you it's cuz he wants to protect you from any diseases he fears he may have caught. He expects you to figure out he's been having sex with other people. could be both men and women.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

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