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let me try to sum it up the best way i can! when i was 14 i woke up to my stepdad touching me down there and kissing me, i told my mom the next day and nothing was ever done this was the 1st time he did that but before this happen he was trying he had sad commetns to me and when he hugged me it was not right u know, anyhow my mom sad to let this go we can't talk abotu this,it can mess up our family things like that(i hated her for this) um she pretty change when she married him he was and is only 1st to her. well now i am26 3 kids n married and she is still in my life n so is he i did put this away n pretend it didn't happen but inside somewhere it is there n i know it! i visit them n they visit me , i talk to my mom on the phone and yesssss i love her, my kids r never alone with them. but now dh is on my case he don't want them in our lifes n i understand but i cant help i love my mom, how do i let her go when i still love

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • You should have never told your DH. BIG mistake. Don't be suprised if he doesn't make them staying away a permanent thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • i also want to add that i sometimes feel that i need my mom, i want her in my life why i don't know i ask of that everyday why do i ned this lady and love her, why do i put myself in front of this man as if nothing happens, i keep telling dh to just let it be and accepted it but he can't and won't he wants me to have nothing to do with them, but i just don't know how to let my mother go and never see her again, i should i know it is the right thing but i love my mom after all these years i still love her, but she is not worth me stressing my life with dh. how do i let her go? after all these years she was in my life why do i let her go now u know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Your dh is only worried about him doing it to your kids! Be upfront with your mom!!!! Tell her that you tried to do it her way to make her happy but its not working and seeing him around your kids makes both you and dh uncomfortable. Let her know it has nothing to do with her but everything with the one she chose. And to be honest ANY mom that puts up with a grown man feeling her daughter up just to have him is No kind of mother!!! You desvered better, and now so do your kids!!!! I know you love her but you have to do it in arms length. You could never live with yourself or beable to look at your mom if he ever touched your kids and dh husband would probably kill you all! Weigh your options, good and bad, and make your descion based on your kids safety and not a loss of a harmful relationship!!!! Good luck and stay strong!!!!

    Answer by ladyd6280 at 3:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Your writing and grammar is terribly hard to read.....I feel like I'm reading a text message from my 17 year old!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Your dh is just trying to protect you. He doesn't respect your step dad and rightly so but he also needs to remember mom is mom. Ask him how he would feel if he were not allowed to have his mom in his life.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:17 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Maybe if you tell your mom that she's not allowed around your kids because of him she'll wake up and realize how crappy of a guy he is. Your husband doesn't want this to happen to his kids..he has a right to be worried.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 7:44 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • your mother chose to say with someone who molested you. That was her choice, she has to live with it. why would you want your children around a potential child molester. Now if your mother leaves him then maybe u would let her see the kids. she may have just made a bad choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

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