Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Ugh! What would u do or say to a dumb ass family member who says...

Ok my mother and i haven't been speaking since summer (long story that i dont want to get in to right now) and so my uncle (trying to get us to talk again) calls me today and says that my mother has cancer- near tears I am asking him questions and he says its bad- really bad- and then he goes im lying im lying but u 2 should really stop this and talk- im like wtf! what the heck is wrong with his brain to make him think that that was at all funny? it makes me want to stop talking to him now too! ugh what would u have said/ done if this happened to u?

Answer Question
 
lovelyli217

Asked by lovelyli217 at 5:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 12 (759 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • oh jeez whata s o b. I feel like saying that's a guy for ya. Just write your mom and tell her you look forward to sometime being friends more than just daughter and mother.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 5:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I'm going through something similar with my father. We haven't spoken since January (shortly after my daughter was born). A lot of terrible stuff happened between him and I that I cannot just forgive. I wrote him and told him I never want a relationship with him and no, I do not regret it. Now family members are trying to intervene and get us to reconcile. I just want to scream. They are delusional if they think things can just simply be forgotten and gotten over. If I were you, I would tell your uncle to stay out of your business. That is what I am going to begin doing with my family members.
    dani2780

    Answer by dani2780 at 5:35 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • You said it, stop talking to him until he grows up.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • As wrong as it was he was trying to get you to see that life is short and that she may not be here tomorrow and have you face the possiblity of any regrets.

    Was he right...No...but I can understand why he did it, mind you this is without knowing what the original problem between you and your mom is.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 6:52 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Okay, so maybe he was trying to give you a wake up call? It could happen. Your mom (or even YOU) could come down with cancer or something else...and because of whatever the situation that caused you to stop talking will seem so petty and you could end up miserable the rest of your life because of it.

    And if she did come down with cancer, then you would go start talking to her...or at least try...and she'd know it was only pity.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • We don't know why you stopped talking to your mom, but you have to decide if it is worth the estrangement if she were to die tomorrow. You obviously were upset when you thought she was seriously ill, perhaps dying, it seems to me he was just trying to put things in perspective. The way he went about it was wrong, but his intentions were good. Without knowing why you are estranged from your mom, it's hard to know, but for me it would have to be something pretty major to keep me from my family. Because literally you never know. I got a phone call at 11 am one day that my mom had been taken to hospital and she was in surgery by the time we made the 5 hour drive to get there. She died shortly after 8pm and I never got that last chance to tell her I loved her and what a great role model she was to me, but I did speak to her a couple days before and that comforts me.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 7:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I would stop talking to him too. What he did was immature and wrong.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:10 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • It sounds like his way of trying to get you to think about if not talking to your mother is worth it. I haven't talked to my mother in 7 years and every once in a while my DH will ask how I will feel if she dies and I never talked to her after our incidents. Sounds to me like your uncle was trying to get you to think about that but he did it in a REALLY bad way.
    goaliemom93

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 9:07 PM on Dec. 5, 2009


  • His method wasnt right, his message was. You cant fix anything if they are no longer here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • "His method wasn't right, his message was. You cant fix anything if they are no longer here."

    I completely agree with this. Life is too short (and precious!) to have any regrets.
    MamaRoberts

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN