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My daughtere is 11 and has such a attitude. It seems as though she hates me!

I feel like she hates me and has no respect for me. I have always given her anything that she has ever asked for . I feel as though she is alot more connected to her Dad that me? I am not sure why and it really hurts my feelings. Please does anyone have any advise?

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johnsongirlsmom

Asked by johnsongirlsmom at 5:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (15)
  • Is it puberty maybe?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Girls at that age do love their fathers more if they are around so that part is really normal. I have 2 girls 10 and 17 and they would both rather be with him than me, now our son would rather be with me LOL.. The rest is also normal, she finding her own and trying to separate from ya'll a bit. Don't take it personal and just be there for her. Now if she is being rude or disrespectful that is a different story and should not be tolerated.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:52 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • sigh tell me about it . My 17 yo dd is sitting right next to me being threatened with extinction if she doesn't do homework NOW. Our kids hate us cause of the wonderful factor that they're our kids. Make your dd work for her privileges of life by doing chores routinely and homework before pleasure. She won't love you more as a kid but she'll respect you more once she's an adult.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 5:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I hope so. However I think it may be more. You see I have always been a hard worker and brought home a great monthly income. I recently have been on medical leave for a few months, so the money is not coming in like she is used too. I feel like she has lost respect for me because I cannot affored the things I did before when I was working. I am not sure the outcome for my future with my illness, so I want to try and get closer to her now before it is maybe to late.
    johnsongirlsmom

    Answer by johnsongirlsmom at 5:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • It's the age. She's learning to separate from you and become her own person. If you like to read try reading the book Reviving Ophelia and it can explain it better.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Do you think that maybe because you have always given her everything that she's asked for she's never learned to appreciate what she has? Sometimes myself I feel like the more I give, the more they expect and the less grateful they are for it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • op I'm sorry for your illness and I hope you feel better. Considering your hardship should you health worsen a some material things will be of great importance coming from you but really most important is what you Teach her of love, living, responsibilities. Probably most of us on cm have as kids received things from our moms, dads or beloved grandparents but what I bet what we've treasured or wish we could treasure most is wisdom of safe and loving living in this busy torn world. My mom provided for me and gifted me on birthdays and holidays but didn't ever nurture Me. I ended up doing that myself with help of other women in my life.
    I wish she nurtured me even if it meant gifted me materialistically less.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 6:47 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • First, you shouldn't have given her everything she asked for. She never learned to work for what she wanted. I have no problem telling my child NO, just because I can. Second, it may be puberty. But that doesn't mean she is allowed to be disrespectful. Tell her that if she continues to be disrespectful, you will take everything away from her. All she gets is her bed and some books. You give her clothes daily. She has to earn her things back through respectful behavior and doing chores.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:02 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I hate to say this, OP, but it sounds like you have spoiled her a bit and she is now feeling entitled and ungrateful. I would not tolerate her disrespect and be very careful about over indulging her in the future.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • omg my 20 month old has a temper already. i know it seems far fetched but its sooooo true. ills say charley come here and shell respond with a NO. it infuriates the shit out of me.....i just want to scream. and i feel bad disciplining because i love her so much. but i refuse to raise any bay bays children. :) just put your foot down girl. it'll work. a stern voice always helps
    newmommyjazz

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 2:52 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

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