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What can be done???? Anyone else???? 13 yr old girl

Last year she started failing school. She never had a problem with it before but all of a sudden she wasnt turning her work in or anything and then this year she did good for the first week of school then started again with not turning it in. Also she is lying about turning it in and even when you confront her she lies or pretends to be stupid (Well, I thought I turned it in) Also when I give her chores to do she purposely messes them up and it is dumb things like i asked her to mate socks and when I went to grab mine she said those arent mated right are they? I checked and it was an ankle sock with a crew cut sock. So I went through the rest and they were all like that she mated one of her moms with one of my dads!!!! I made her re-mate them 3 times and each time it was some stupid thing that she did. Is this normal. What could be causing it and how can I make it stop. I am the one that has to deal with it and her mom doesnt

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • op finishing question.....
    Her mom doesnt disipline her for anything and if I do then she will undermine me. Yes I know she is the mom but If I am the one watching her from the time she gets out of school until 6-10 at night then shouldnt I have a say

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • What's your relationship with her? Are you a sitter or a stepmom or a friend of the family?

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • OP: I am her cousin and kinda her sitter. They dont trust her to be here by herself and they cant come pick her up everyday but I have enough stress with my almost 1 year old and cleaning that I just cant deal with her anymore. Her mom wanted her to do chores which me and her switch off and on with the easy ones and I do all the hard ones everytime. But her mom wont do anyhing when I tell her about her daughter acting up. I can make her do them right if I have an hour for each thing that should take 20 minutes top But I dont. (Sorry that waas kinda a vent lol)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Talk to her. Ask her why she isn't trying. I'm sure she is a smart girl, but she is intentionally acting as though she isn't. There could be something to this. Whether she is acting out because her mom doesn't seem involved or to care, or she is trying to test her bounderies with you. It's clear to me that she is doing this intentionally and it appears that it is for attention. It appears as though she's doing it for one or both of these reasons .. 1. She doesn't feel as though she is smart 2. She's trying to get someone to reassure her that she is capable and smart. I would try and talk to her, see if you can get her to open up as to why she's playing dumb all of the time and not trying. It's most likely a self esteem issue and she's trying to get someone to boost her ego a bit. She's probably given up on herself a little bit and that's why she's not turning in her homework.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:26 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • It very well could be that with her parents not trusting her to be alone, and her mom not dicipling her and making her try, that she has just given in. Try and talk to her, try and get her to open up to you. If you can be there for her and let her know that you want to help her succeed, then maybe she will believe in herself. Don't let her off the hook though. When she's at your house she follows your rules, regardless of what her mother says. She's under your roof for a certain time everyday, she has to follow the rules of your home.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:28 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Something happened to her to trigger this. The child needs professional intervention quickly.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:38 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • which parent are you, the mother or the father? Not that it matters I just want to know who I am talking too. I am a mom of a 14 years old girl and I also have a 11 year old boy who both are in Middle school. what I do is I go and check on them when they are in school. I sugguest that you do the same just to see how she is acting at school and who she is hanging out with. How other children are influencing her to do the right or the wrong things. You may need to take thing away from her that she likes and if she can not obey you then you may need to ground her until she know that she needs to respect you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  •   She might be on drugs. JMO


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I agree w/a pp--she needs some professional help. It sounds like something has happened to trigger this and she has no other way of "asking" for help.

    Answer by purplemoosemom at 9:00 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Didja ever stop to think that her mother doesnt make her do anything because she always screws it up and if u feel that way u wont make her do anything either? Sounds like BS to me. She doesnt need counseling she needs an azz whoopin but you arent the person that can do that.

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 10:51 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

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