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If you don't trust him, why are you with him?

Always there are questions popping up - is it ok if your man goes to a bar, looks at porn, goes out with friends, leaves the house for more than 30 seconds without checking in, breathes without permission. Why? If you don't trust him. If you have to even ask the question, why are you with him in the first place?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (14)
  • I always ask myself the same thing when I see these posts!! It's annoying!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Why do you care?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Also, why do they bash them all the time. If they are that unhappy just leave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Good question..
    Some people are jsut not trusting to begin with lol

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 11:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I stay because I love him and want to rebuild the trust in him. He lost my trust long ago and every day is a battle with "What if?" but he doesn't try to help ease my worry often. I don't see us making it more than another two years, but I hope I'm wrong. If he tried as hard to do his part as hard as I try to do mine, we'll be ok. It's all a matter of time, patience, determination, and faith.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • hi op, the mistrust is from having been cheated on. If you've not been cheated on or if you have and have been able to just cut the losses and move on that's great. Most relationships especially with kids and finances involved are not easy to end. Sure wish it were the opposite. It all depends on how long people have been together before cheating and other things too. Cheating doesn't always occur early on in relationships, sometimes doesn't happen til decades later.

    Answer by lfl at 11:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I believe EVERYONE is capable of cheating if put right senerio. But part of that is accountablity. Its each partners responsiblity to hold hte other accountable if they start to put themself in situations where lines could get blurred. As soon as I hear someone say they trust their spouse completely to never cheat, I can almost garentee they will the one who gets blindsided by their spouse screwing around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • The mistrust isn't just from previous unfaithful partners. Some people generally have a hard time trusting others. People post these questions normally to validate their fears. Sometimes we overthink situations and react in our minds greater then what the situation calls for. With this type of forum it's easy to come on here and ask "Am I being silly, or should I worry?" Some questions may come off as an obvious answer, but it helps to sometimes write the fears out. Getting advice from someone outside the situation can be very helpful as well. We are blinded sometimes by the relationship and love that we often do not see the reality of a situation. Getting advice from someone outside the situation can help carlify whether our fears are jusified or not. This often helps us to come to the proper answer for the situation.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:08 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • My husband has lied to me about the most dumbest things and I have a huge problem with that. He is the one that lost my trust by doing that so it is all up to him to regain it back. If he keeps doing things that break it again then all that does is start the vicious cycle all over again. If you don't like the questions then don't read them as simple as that. Why are you getting bent out of shape over something so simple anyways?


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:09 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Love is blind, no doubt. A lot of times people lie to themselves that they are overreacting to a situation, their partner can change, or they are somehow at fault for an unfaithful or abusive partner. They come on here to recieve support, justify their fears, and try to find out a way around or out of the situation. This forum is here to give that support and though the answer may seem obvious to those outside the situation, again it can be very clouded to the person inside the situation. It is comforting sometimes for people outside of the situation to say "Yes, you should leave him", because can sometimes question our own judgement even if we know the right answer. Outside party advice isn't always welcome, but when the person comes forth to ask the advice of others it's to seek help for their situation. Not everyone can see the easy answer, and that's what we're here to do. We're here to help them see the easy answer.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:12 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

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