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What is the truth about child support? What is fact and what is fiction? :/

hi my name is crystal and i have been dating my WONDERFUL bf, Eric, for about 7-8 months now and he has a 4 yo daughter. Well her mother is the biggest bitch in the world (especially to him :/ ) and keeps giving him the run arround about his daughter. Well she tells him he has ABSOLUTLY no rights at all to his daughter (which she is a HORRIBLE mother but im not gunna go into details about that :/ ) and that as long as hes w/ me that she doesnt have to allow him to see her and blah blah blah.... U get the picture, right? :/ From what i know if u pay child support and are provin the father of said child that u have rights to that child. Oh yea i forgot to mention that im having to apply and go through the montions to take child support out in my childs (dead beat) father who has nothin to do w/ my daughter :( i jus wanna know the facts and im not sure where to go or what to do OR anything else for that matter!!! so PLEASE PLEASE

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Asked by NewMommy2588 at 11:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • Child Support and visitation are usually two seperate things in most states. As in, even if he is not paying, he still has a right to see his child. And don't jump all over me for this, I am just stating facts. Is there any court ordered visitation? It sounds like he needs a lawyer and to take her back to court. And for now, if I were you, I would try to stay out of it as much as possible. For his sake as much as yours. But he def. needs legal advice.

    Answer by phantomphan at 11:42 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • The father absolutely has rights to a child. To see his child and have a relationship with his child. Barring there isn't any substance abuse, or mental or physical abuse or anger issues. The mother in fact by withholding visitation can be charged with alienation of a parent in a court. My advice is to start a paper trail and document everything. Call,keep a log, and get phone records, follow up at the same time with an e-mail, and ask by text messages. Get a lawyer, show the records, and go to court. As long as YOUR record is clean, a man can live with a woman and still have visitation. Always speak well of the mother in front of the child. It is a two way street. You don't want to alienate the child against the mother. Always remember the more people that love and support a child the better off they will be. Good Luck!!!

    Answer by SEEKEROFSHELLS at 11:48 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • The mother automatically has full rights to a child. But the father must go to court to establish visitation rights if the mother is not being cooperative. OF course, in court it is very very hard to prove that a parent should not have visitations, so his being with you is not reason enough. His best bet is to get an attorney. As the previous posters said, visitation and child support are two separate things.

    Answer by sammygrl77 at 3:58 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • No just because he is paying child support doesn't mean he has rights. If there is no legal documentation of his right she can even call the cops on him for coming over. I know that for a fact. I had to with my ex, who was abusive.

    Also if there is documentation of it there can be a rule that women who are not family are not to be aloud around the child or in the home when the child is there. That would mean you since you are just his GF

    I know that one for a fact too,


    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 6:21 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Unless he has a court order, she doesn't have to allow him to visit. You're way off base in your beliefs of child support. That is money to help pay for what the child needs. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with visitation.

    However, if you're going for child support from your ex, be prepared for him to go to court for visitation since you're going to prove he's the father.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • unless the state you live in has a morality clause, then your presence is not a factor- especially if they were not married. if the child is born out of wedlock that obviates the morality clause in most cases. that works two ways though, if she can not visit with him in the home because of a paramour (illicit lover), then she can not have a BF stay over night either- nor can she have HIM around the child. if it is proven that she has, then your BF can seek custody, adjusted visitation, etc. (this is after court order is solidified)

    child support and visitation are two separate issues. just because he pays support, does not mean that she has to allow him access. she does not HAVE to allow access to her child unless it is court ordered.
    looks like he's got to go to court hon- get a lawyer!

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:25 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • best thing is to google the child support enforcement site for the state you live in....

    also for a quick overview- google state laws regarding paternal fathers rights to visitation for the state in which you reside.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:27 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Just because a parent pays child support does NOT mean they have visitation. Those are 2 separate issues. If they have court ordered visitation, she can NOT keep him from seeing his daughter. She can be jailed for contempt of court. Your BF needs to see an attorney, now. Biomom, cannot dictate the terms of visitation. Laws do vary state to state so check with an attorney in your state.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:29 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • well childsupport is fucked up.... sorry pardon my french!!!! my sons father wont pay childsupport so the child support dismissed the case because he has a new job and cant find them and they looked to me to know where he is... im like thats not my job thats your job i have no ties with him i dont know where hes at or living or working... so yeah they dismissed my case i no longer get child support.... and he does not see my son he has not seen my son since he was 4 months old and hes 3 years old now!!! im just thankful i got a wonderful boyfreind thats my sons father figure!

    Answer by elias1mamma22 at 2:59 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

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