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My kid hates me.

I guess my son is in that phase where Daddy is holier than thou, and he couldn't care less about Mommy. But I can't take it! When SO goes outside to smoke, he won't do anything but scream for him. When SO takes a shower or goes to take the trash out, I can't even hold him because he is throwing such a tantrum. He loves all over his daddy and doesn't even look in my direction. He's 16 months. I went back to work when he was 13 months for a little, now I'm a SAHM for the time being. Did I screw him up by going back? What do I do?

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sweetphoenix529

Asked by sweetphoenix529 at 4:27 PM on Dec. 6, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 6 (139 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Nope it's normal. When my dd says I'm mean or she don't like me, when she's mad at me that is. I ask her if she wants me to get her a new mommy? They don't like that.
    Yea, I know it's horrible
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • He reacts to your energy. If you are upset over it then he feels that energy and runs from it so learn to calm down. He'll be fine
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:32 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Don't worry, boys are like that with their dads. He'll get over it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Aw, I know how you feel. My son does similar things. Maybe daddy needs to make a scheduled "daddy and son" time so your son knows he gets to spend special time with him. Sounds like he may be seeking daddy's attention. He knows he has your attention and that you will be there for him...?
    campeno

    Answer by campeno at 4:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • He reacts to your energy. If you are upset over it then he feels that energy and runs from it so learn to calm down. He'll be fine

    Ummm, this is silly and so not true. How is he reacting to her energy when he throws a fit for his father? He is already throwing the fit, it has nothing to do with her. He is just in a phase where he prefers his daddy. Some of the advice on here sounds like it came from a monkey. Wait, scratch that, monkeys would probably give better advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Hang in there, be patient and consistant in the care you give. Actually its a compliment to you. He knows you are always going to be there, so there is no tantrum. Your s/o has to go to work and stuff like that. In a 16 month old's mind he feels abandoned when daddy goes off to work or out to smoke. Does that make sense? As he matures he will get past this stage.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 5:28 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Its totally normal and its a good thing really (feeling attached to his father). You'll get your turn too. Don't make it into anything more than it is and I think you'll have a better time of it. But if he's freaking out to where its driving you nuts, why not redirect him? Just say "daddy is taking out the trash, lets play with this puzzle until he comes back" and remove him from the area- like don't let him stare out the window and scream. Even if he doesn't play, don't engage him or he'll learn that he's getting attention from the fit. Sometimes they just need to be left alone. DD is 19m and just recently started asking for time outs when she was angry and wanted to calm down alone. Its hard to know what exactly will work for your child, you'd know better than us, but maybe that will help?
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 5:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • I so hate the generalities applied to boys. No, it is not necessarily that "boys are like that with their dads". Mine never were and I have three.

    What I think and this is only based on what you wrote, is that he sees you all the time and doesn't see much of daddy. When daddy is around, he wants to be with him...but can't speak to communicate his feelings yet. So...he screams.

    He doesn't hate you, he just doesn't know how to tell daddy he misses him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Oh, no. I have a boy and I'm not looking forward to this phase, lol.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 8:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Try to lighten up a bit hun. Im sure it is prolly just a phase of some sort. I have been working ever since my son was 6 weeks old. I had no choice. My so and I dont make enough for me to stay at home. But my son has his days when hes all about daddy, and all about mommy. He usually seems happier to see me after I have been gone all day at work. his face will light up when I get home. So maybe its more with your so leaving for work and he misses him more than you. Since you are always home? Just a sugestion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

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