I've been researching the dreaded Terrible Twos to get a feel for some ways to handle them, and I came across a doctor who claimed that the best way to shorten, and even completely cure, the defiance that is typical of this age is to stop short of even reacting to the emotional swings - No punishment, no calming words, just tell the child, "You are obviously upset - I will leave you alone to let you deal with that." and then actually leave them alone. Ignore them until they go back to an even keel. This struck me as simultaneously smart and neglectful. If a child is tantruming, then sure - some time to calm down is a good idea. But isn't also the parents' job to demonstrate to the child HOW to deal w/ their feelings? By just up and leaving, aren't you setting the example that they ought to not only learn to deal w/ emotions all on their own, but also that emotions are something to be ashamed of? Thoughts?Answer Question
Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by Iskkra at 5:45 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by bebita at 5:47 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by louise2 at 6:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by Raine2001 at 6:02 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
I don't know about others but my kids played alone as 2 y/o's and it didn't harm them lol, you act as if he is saying lock the child away, they are just saying DONT REACT TO ATTENTION SEEKING BEHAVIOR This is one of those common sense if you encourage the bad behavior it will continue, by reacting you are encouraging. The first thing we all tell moms to do when their child says a bad word is IGNORE IT don't react well its the same thing.
When my daughter was 2 she tried out the throw yourself on the floor type of tantrum, I looked at her and said when you calm down i will listen to you and i walked to the next room. a week later she stopped and never tried it again, i was consistent, and i didn't encourage it.
Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by Iskkra at 6:28 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by hypermamaz at 6:42 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
You demonstrate how to deal with them (emotions) every day, and they learn by watching you. Don't feed the tantrums and they'll quit seeing them as a viable option. The more drama you give them the bigger the tantrums will get. When the tantrum doesn't get a response they'll try other ways to get your attention. Feed the good ones, ignore the bad ones, punish when necessary, after they've calmed down, if the tantrum included breaking things or hitting someone. If they only thing they hit is the floor, don't even acknowledge it.
You want to see the thought process behind the tantrum, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpSfThUv_pc&feature=related
Answer by NotPanicking at 6:45 PM on Dec. 6, 2009
Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 6:54 PM on Dec. 6, 2009