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Do you exchange Christmas gifts with your child's adoptive/birth family?

Does anyone in your child's birth family give gifts to the children? Or do you buy gifts for your child's birth mom/dad? Why or why not?

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doodlebopfan

Asked by doodlebopfan at 8:05 PM on Dec. 6, 2009 in Adoption

Level 20 (9,525 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • No one in my child's birthfamily exchanges gifts with us. His birthmother has never sent us a letter of a card. We do not even have a phone number. We did give her our number and address in case she wants to contact us. We did have an address of some family and did send gifts initially. But when they did keep in touch and moved....it was hard to try and keep the lines of communication open.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:13 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Sometimes we do and sometimes we dont. Usually we dont see eachother around Christmas so we dont do the exchanging of gifts. If we do see them then I'll buy my daughter something but not her parents and i dont expect anything in return. I feel uncomfortable when they buy me something.
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 8:14 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • We don't only because DD's birthmom hasn't told her other four kids about DD. We keep in touch via email/text/website but most likely won't have in person visits. Makes me sad, but it's her choice not to tell her other kids and I can't change that. She has sent cards for DD, and sent me a card for my first Mother's Day, which was the very sweetest thing ever.
    ZoeyBethsMomma

    Answer by ZoeyBethsMomma at 8:25 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • ZoeybethsMomma, I am saddened by your reply, because I am a First Mother, and how sad that your childs First Mother has chosen to NOT tell your childs siblings that she exist:( What is the old addage????? "If at first we decieve, what a tangled web we weave"...this could never be any truer...from GODS ears...to our hearts:) I will pray she will be respectful enough to those she "claims' to love, and be forth right and honest...there is no other way to raise ANY child. Honor, truth, morral, integrity, and CHRIST in ones heart...is ALL it takes...JMHO, Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 8:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • We are in the same situation as Zoeybethsmomma with DS - his two older sisters don't know about him.

    We exchange gifts with DD's bfamily for the children only (including her cousin), and they buy for both of our kids. DS's bmom bought gifts for both kids last year.

    We usually do see DD's bfamily around Christmas. Her grandparents in her bfamily usually give Christmas money even if we visit in person, which DD loves! She likes to be able to go pick out the toys she was hoping for but didn't get.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 8:52 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • doodlebopfan, I know that you are aware of my situation...simply because your heart has allowed you to look deeper into others journies, to help better understand your very own...so I thank You:) I do not have the PLEASURE of knowing my twin sons parents...I have for 23 yrs years now, prayed for them:) EVERY CRISTmas & New Years Eve, I step outside (no matter where I am at) and I say a very heartfelt prayer, for my twin sons' parents, and more importantly, that my twin sons are safe, healthy, happy, and alive. This past year, in Marc I did find SOME of those answers...yet, my prayers will not waiver ANY;) I can only ask GOD for this, because I am only human and too weak to have the power to undo the wrong of 23 yrs gone past...but GOD does have the power to see to it that what I ask is the next best thing...guidance, love, compassionate, spirituality morrals, and lots of laughter....HERE IS TO A VERY BLESSED HOLIDAY, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:02 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • My child's adoptive family and I buy every other year - I buy for her every year, we buy for their whole family (mom, dad, 3 other kids) every other year and her a-family buys for my family (me, hubby, kids) the other years. Her birthday is 4 days before Christmas, so we always get together halfway between our homes somewhere around then.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • OH Y LORD, I have never missed-spelled CHRIST before...I am so so sorry:( I meant with all my heart, CHRISTmas:) Blessings to all, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:05 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Long day.....I now have mis-spelt...misspell...I have now got to retire, and go to bed...for a long winters nap;) C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:10 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • I am a BM and I buy my birth child a birthday & Christmas gift each year as well as send him cards on special holidays. I have never received a gift on Christmas from him however his AP's have remembered my other children's birthdays and Christmas and sends them gifts from him (gift cards and I pick out the specific gifts) His bday is in Feb and we meet up every June & Nov so I give him his Christmas gift in Nov and I mail him his bday present for his bday.

    I personally would not expect anything from him for me or his birth siblings but I think its great that his AP's remember my children! I always get a card with a new poem written by his AM on mothers day and that is very special to me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

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