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need some advice for a friend..

Ok so one of my husbands friends just got home after being in the navy for 5 years and know he is looking to meet someone and he has been asking me for advice because there is a girl that works at the gym he goes to that he thinks is really pretty and he wants to get to know her but hes really shy and he is afriad that she probably has a million guys hit on her everyday. He is about 5'9" skinny blond hair blue eyes he plays the guiter and sings (really well) and he is very very sweet so in other words hes a total catch. So ladies what do you think he should do? What shoudl he say to this girl? should he say anything? What do you ladies think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Honestly, there isn't any perfect answer here, because each girl is going to be different. The best thing he could do is just be himself. Talk to her as a person, get to know her as a person, not trying to pick her up, etc. By doing that, they can get to know each other as individuals, for who they really are without a bunch of pretense. Because this way, either they're going to "click" and things can progress naturally from getting to know each other to friends then dating, or one or the other or both of them really isn't going to be interested in the other one, and it won't go anywhere. But, if that's the case, it's better to find that out based on who you really are than on pretending to be something you aren't.

    kwim?
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:45 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • If he really likes her and wants to get to know her but is to shy..Have him just randomly go and ask her some off the wall question. Just gradually get a conversation started, then maybe he can find out if she is dating someone, or if she is interested in dating if so would she be interested in him...Give me her name and a number to get a hold of her at work and I will call and find out, lol...I love it when guys get interested but are to shy to ask someone out..Its sweet :) good luck to your friend...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Tell him to just be himself and ask to her questions he really wants to know about her. He's been in the Navy for five years. He should have some confidence in himself by now. Women like men who are confident.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:47 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I have told him that but, he says he doesn't know what to say like what kind of questions to ask....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Ask how her day's going. Ask her how she likes her job. Talk about the weather. Say something like "can you believe this rain... I haven't seen it rain this hard since I was in Thailand during the rainy season..." If she's interested, that gives her the opportunity to say something back like "oh, when were you in Thailand..." He mentions he was in the Navy, she says something back, next thing you know, they're having a conversation...

    Then the next time he sees her, then maybe say something about a song that's on the radio or something, about how you like that song, or how you really prefer how ___ does their vocals or their technique on guitar, or something, and ask her what kind of music she likes.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:18 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • cont

    Don't just go up and make some small talk for a few minutes then ask her out, because then it's going to seem like he's just trying to pick her up and isn't really interested in her responses to whatever he said. If he sees her on a semi regular basis, then just talk to her a few times, over the course of a week or so. Build up to it. Then, once you have sort of a friendly conversational connection established, that's when he can work something in like "you know, this has been fun. How about if we grab a cup of coffee sometime? Something like that.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:21 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • If he is too shy to speak to her, what would happen if they went on a date? Would he sit there silently?

    He needs to work on his own issues (a therapist can help) first.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:04 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • If he is too shy to speak to her, what would happen if they went on a date? Would he sit there silently?

    No hes a really cool guy and once he starts talking hes fine its just that first intall thing ya know? like hes not good at STARTING the convo....I don't think he needs to go to therapy just because hes shy..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

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