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This is the first year my daughter is in pre-school (she's 3). I am involved in the PTO and am the head homeroom mom for DD's class. I really want to be a part of her school life and pretty much volunteer for anything as long as it's when she's in school.

I've found out that the PTO is nothing but a bunch of women who sit and gossip about other people. The officers are the worst at it all and single people out by either giving the good jobs to their friends or giving the bad jobs to those they don't like. There is so much drama and backstabbing going on that 2 of my friends have already pulled out completely swearing to never come back (one is a mom from DD's class and other was a head homeroom mom for another pre-school class). People have went to the principal, but it's obvious she doesn't plan to do anything about it.

IS THIS NORMAL? Am I to expect this for the next 14 years (another year of pre-school then K-12)?


Asked by AllAboutKeeley at 1:48 AM on Dec. 7, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 33 (59,731 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I have to say yes sometimes this does happen and sometimes it does not. I joined the PTO when my children were in pre-school and had a horrible experience, something similar to what you are talking about. Then when my oldest was in 1st grade I joined at his elementary school and I have to say it was one of the best things I did. Yes there are people who don't like each other and yes sometimes people talk, I think that is a part of life. On the other side I have made some great friends being on the PTO. We hang out outside of school and our children get a long great. We have gone on vacations together and our children play sports together.

    So please don't be totally discourage by this experience. My children are now in 7th grade, 5th grade and 2nd grade so I have been a part of the PTO and school for over 8 years. As long as you don't get caught up in it and you are helping that is great.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 5:59 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Ahhh yes the mom club I really dont like going to those meetings, and I have tried. everytime I have gone all they do is talk about how no one steps up (ummm okay then why am i sitting here?) and how more parents need to get involved(hello see me i just walked in been to two meetings obviously i want to help) and then when you volunteer they ignore you! They wont let anyone do anything except the person who has been doing it for years. It is insane to me that these women do this so I gave up now i give my time to the teacher in the classroom.

    I have tried at 2 different schools and i am always met with the same type of group. I have found it is much easier to work with the teachers and the other activities my kids are in.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:05 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Yes that is the way it is and from my experience the principle was the most cliquey out of everyone. I was one of the officers and every suggestion I made was thrown off the table and amazingly the next month someone else would bring it up and everyone thought it was a great idea. My best idea was letting each child in the school choose a book from the monthly book order right before the Christmas break (at that time the school could buy certain books off order for $1) and the PTO would buy it. This was overwhelminly accepted and Principle and President and Vice President of PTO took the credit for this. I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter since the reward was the kids getting a book out of it, but it does piss you off when no one gives you credit for your ideas. I quit participating in the club the next year, it was easier just attending functions and doing things on my own than dealing with women's attitudes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • that is school.


    Answer by hypermamaz at 9:44 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Get used to it. The PTO and PTA is not about the school or the kids for most who join. The moms make it about them and want to get some recognition and hang out with friends. Our PTA does squat for the school so I organized moms myself and we have done three fund raising projects that took little time and only three meetings to organize. The Principal is going to disband the PTA at our school since it is nothing more than a social networking group for the schools mom and wants to hire me part time as the schools fund raising coordinator. We have raised 30k with the small band of moms I have brought together the PTA has brought in 50 bucks. I think many schools would do better to simply have someone on staff who organizes things and is not in it for ego but to help make their childs education a great one. The PTA moms hate me and are so rude. Seems like high school all over again. They can hate me all they want. lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Can I just say that I'm SO glad that I'm not the only one that feels that way.  I swear it IS just like being back in H.S.   Ours is so full of fluff & ego that I'm surprised everyone fits in the door of the meetings-there's one tonight & I decided I'm not going, it's easier to be in contact w/ some of them through e-mail.

    I've resigned to the fact that all I can do is throw my name in there & volunteer to help w/ my kids teachers-both present & previous, because they've all been helpful.  I know that I'm helping them & they know I appreciate the hard work the y're doing w/ all of their students.

    I have found only a couple moms that I can associate w/ & not be put off by, I get to co-room parent w/ one of them this year.


    Answer by JeJaNi_MaMa at 2:04 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • This is so disappointing to me. You'd think that when you are in the PTO, they would act like adults instead of the ages of the students they are there to help!

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:01 AM on Dec. 7, 2009