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switching from BF to FF, too guilty.

Ok, first off- i know some of you will completely ignore this- please no drama or bashing.

I decided it was time to switch, I have so many reasons I need to, I'm going to school in a month and I'm going to start working soon. When i get stressed my milk dries up (so on weeks i'm stressed i can't do normal activities i enjoy like working out) and I hate feeding in public (it's so awkward).

I was completely set in my decision- until tonight. I feel so guilty ladys, i can't do it- I'm just gonna keep BF him till my milk actually dries up from stress (which it probably will when my routine changes) at least then I know i can't and I won't feel this horrible guilt.

why do I feel so guilty? I'm so stressed and i need to go to school and work so my baby can have a good life later on.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 AM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (13)
  • wow, i've been BF for 8 1/2 months that have been FULL of stress and my milk has never dried up!! are you sure that's a legitimate thing, where did you hear that stress makes your milk production stop? never heard of it...
    anyways, I'm not going to be rude or try and persuade you one way or the other. i dont think you need to feel guilty at all, because giving a baby formula is perfectly fine and wont hurt the baby at all.
    are you guilty because your child enjoys to bond with you during breastfeeding? mine sure does, but she's 8 1/2 months so she's had a while to get used to old is yours by the way?
    good luck

    Answer by Bernie19 at 2:20 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Why switch before you have too? Try to minimize your stress as much as you can, stay hydrated, and try herbal supplements like fenugreek to keep your supply up. If those things don't work and it dries up anyway at least you'll know you tried. But I definitely think you should continue as long as you can.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • he's 3 months old. I think the reason my body has such a hard time is because of my diabetes. and i do have an anxiety disorder so it's probably more the anxiety messing with my body than the stress. where can i get fenugreek? I've never heard of it- its it expensive? it's worth a try.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I think you should choose the route that you think would cause you less stress. After all a happy mommy is key to making happy children. ;o)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Don't feel guilty! Do what you have to do to provide for you and your child. If you have to FF so what. The thing that matters is you and your child is happy and healthy, not that he's BF or FF. Go to school, start working, take care of yourself, relax and enjoy your beautiful baby!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Fenugreek can be bought at any healthfood store. I have even seen it at some grocery stores in the vitamins/herbals area. It is not expensive. When I bought it at GNC it was like $7. It can make your milk smell different... garlicy, but it is safe and helps boost your supply. Although you probably should ask a dr about taking it since you are diabetic.
    Other than that it is important to drink, a lot. Plus eat enough. It could be that when you are stressed you don't eat and drink enough and don't even realize it. I know I do the same thing. Under stress I forget to drink enough and will skip meals.

    Basically you should choose the best thing for your baby and you. But if you are already feeling guilt it is worth trying to continue to bf. Atleast that way, if it doesn't work out you know that you tried your best.
    Good Luck!

    Answer by AnnaMac at 3:26 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Maybe this is a self-fulfilling prophesy. You expect your milk to dry up, so it will. If you can't pump enough to keep up with your baby, then you can certainly continue to breastfeed when you are home (the closeness will help with your stress and also help you baby adjust to you being away from home more) and supplement with formula when you are at school or work.

    Here are some suggestions for supply support:
    Nurse frequently
    Drink lots of water, at least 6 oz every time you nurse and every time you pump
    Have lots of skin-to-skin contact with your baby
    Take brewers yeast tabs
    Look at pictures of your baby while you pump
    Wait at least an hour after nursing to pump.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:48 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I know how you feel. I would wait til you have to change. That is what I did with both mine children.
    Unlike what some people think ^^ it is not just a "self-fulfilling prophesy" Sometimes people really have things that happen. I dont understand it but my milk had dried up twice. The first time was my son 5 almost 6 years ago and i was breastfeeding every 2 -3 hours drank water like a camel had plenty of support then one day it just started being less and less and my breat wouldnt even feel full. It got to the point that i had to switch to formula after 2 months. This time I told myself I could do this last time was just a werid experiance. I did the same drank water had support ate right everything and after 1 1/2 months I dried up again . It killed me but I have to feed my children some how and even though formula is not ideal in my book it still is a good source of food for them and does just fine.
    Even though .....

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 6:15 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I have had this problem I will everytime attempt breastfeeding for as long as possible. I would just wait it out and see if you do then if you do then you can change over.
    I know it just hurts so bad when you cant feed your child the way you want to but things happen.
    You should have a support system too if you do have to change to formula.

    *IF* you do have to change I recommend nestle goodstart it doesnt use as much milk in it and they break it down even more. It is so much easier on babies tummys and they get less gas.
    If you ever eed someone to talk to Feel free to message me .:)

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 6:17 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty!!! I hate it when women are made to feel like that! You're feeding your baby the baby!!! Period, end of discussion!!! No matter which way you choose to feed, there is absolutely NO reason to feel guilt at all!!!!

    You do what is best for your and your baby. You know your life better than anyone here, no one here can tell you that you should switch, or that your milk won't dry up, or that it's all in your head (rkoloms).

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on Dec. 7, 2009

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