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How would you handle your family not honoring how you raise your kids?*christians*

I have for 6 years NOT allowed santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy etc.. in my home. Because I realized I was lying to my kids & they were more forced in on santa than Jesus. My aunt Jan gives my kids gifts from Santa & told them there is no christmas without santa. So I sent an email to nicely ask her to respect my wishes. I was shocked when she emailed me a nasty email saying I was living in sin. I emailed her again stating we al have sin. I am so tired of my family stepping on my toes on how I want to raise my kids? How do you handle it when your family, friends etc.. tell you how to raise your kids? Note I did stay respectful in all my emails to my aunt.

 
maiahlynn

Asked by maiahlynn at 11:59 AM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I am not a Christian, but I think this issue goes both ways. While I do not ban anything of other religions from my home, our beliefs come first, and I do not want anyone else telling my kids how and what they should believe. I totally understand where you are coming from. I have this issue with my mother and MIL. You are perfectly correct and have the right to tell others how you want your kids to be raised. They need to respect your rules. In my home, my family knows they are not welcome around us if they break our rules. I know I might be taking it a bit far, but it's the only thing that works. Talking and asking them to respect my wishes did not work. Please never feel bad about standing up for your beliefs, whatever they may be.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 12:06 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I'm not Christian(or religious) but I would never go against a parents faith preferences for their child. Isn't their some Christian story or background to St. Nick. Perhaps you can explain the cultural story behind Santa and why some people like to indulge their children in the fantasy.

    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:10 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • You did the only thing you could, stay friendly but firm in what you believe. Your Aunt means well but is in the wrong.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 12:19 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I am also not a Christian, but I think this is an issue that many people face, whether about religous beliefs or just the way they want to raise their kids (diet, TV, etc). While I think a parent's wishes should be respected no matter what the topic, it seems especially important to respect a parent's wishes when it comes to the family's religion, beliefs, or specific religous practices!! I agree that your aunt was totally out of line. Since she doesn't seem to realize that, though, there may not be hope of changing her. I would suggest that you keep telling her how you feel, respectfully, every time she does something like this. Since it doesn't look like she is going to stop, though, I am wondering what else you could do. Are your children old enough that you could talk to them about how some people believe in this Santa Claus person, but "we don't"? This might be helpful anyway, for when they come across Santa (to be cont'd
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 12:19 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • ...for when they come across Santa in other situations, such as with people who don't know about your beliefs, or just talking to other kids, or when they see Santa everywhere (TV, books, stores, etc). And if so, maybe you could teach them about how the Santa myth/legend/story/idea came about, and about the friendly St. Nicholas (or however you would prefer to present it). Shoot, once they are even older, you could also teach them about marketing campaigns and corporate profits and how that ties into Santa Claus! (Especially the Coca-Cola ads that created the current American version of Santa).
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 12:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Shoot, once they are even older, you could also teach them about marketing campaigns and corporate profits and how that ties into Santa Claus!

    I agree thats an excellent point for when their older.
    Farrahann

    Answer by Farrahann at 12:40 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • if my family has input, i just thank them for caring and explain to them why we dont celebrate the holidays and if they still insist that i'm raising them wrong, then thats when i stop answering emails that pertain to how i raise my kids. one of my cousins told me that i was being a cruel mom because i'm denying my children joy because we dont do christmas. I explained to him that my children are in no way deprived and we still give them gifts but not for christmas. it can be for any time of the year. dd graduated from middle school and i bought her a really cool gift that she is still thanking me for, lol. If i see something in a store that i think she would like, i buy it for her and give it to her that day, i dont wait until the end of the year to give to her. she likes it better that way, lol.
    proudmomma777

    Answer by proudmomma777 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • It isn't enough to "not allow" these mythological icons into your house. They are prevalent symbols that your children will be confronted with on a continuous basis. You have to let them in long enough to tell your children (forget your outside family) that these things are little stories that other people like to pretend are true. You need to make your own position clear. You explained it very well in your post--use those words. You know that your aunt doesn't REALLY believe in the existence of Santa Claus. Like many christians who assume that everyone believes as they do, she assumes that ALL children believe in the mythology of Santa. It is easier to explain your reasoning to your children so that such confrontations won't confuse them. They have to understand other people's relationships to these mythic characters in order to deal with them. You can't change your family. Don't try.
    witchqueen

    Answer by witchqueen at 12:57 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • when you aunt sends stuff and tells your children it's about santa? tell them about st. nick. you could google st. niclaus (sp?) and there are some great sites that are geared to all ages and then incorporate Christ into it. That's what I did when my son was little and he grew up knowing that santa clause was not who brought Christmas presents and he knew Christmas was about Christ but I also told him the history of St, Nick.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • "My Aunt Jan gives my kids gifts from Santa and told them there is no Christmas without Santa."

    Whoa. I would have a problem with her placing the kids in an uncomfortable position like that. Since its already happened, just take it as an opportunity to tell your kids that its ok for your Aunt to believe but that doesnt mean you have to agree....thats what I do all the time, more than I can count.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 1:15 PM on Dec. 7, 2009