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advice needed

My ds is 3.5 years old. He seems so mature and like he understands so much that I often forget just how young he really is thus causing discipline to be way too harsh/advanced. I'm at a loss for what to do though because dh says he's extremely advanced and DOES understand because when asked afterward he is able to say I did so and so and that's why I got this punishment. Also how do you stick to the punishment? Ds is supposed to get 3 min on the bed whenever he misbehaves, but I'm noticing that dh and I really are not consistant with it. We always say oh we are going to do this but then drop back into the bad habit of not.

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Asked by mom06and09 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (3)
  • Just remember how smart he is, he will soon, if he hasn't already, figure out that you aren't serious about the discipline and will really act out. Stick to your time out, maybe put him in a chair where you can see him. It should be somewhere there isn't anything to entice him, like toys etc. Eventually , as long as you stick to your guns, he won't need the time outs. He seems very bright, so I would think that will go in a positive direction.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:37 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Following through is the key to any behavior. If he is misbehaving and you aren't consistent with punishment and you don't follow through with what you say he will realize that it doesn't matter what you say or what he does. He may have already figured this out. If he's smart enough to know that XYZ is bad behavior then he should be punished for it. My son is 3 1/2 as well and 95% of the time when he goes to timeout and his 3 minutes are up I will say "do you know why you are here?" he will tell me yes and he's exactly right---he knew he was wrong, he's just testing limits to see what he can get away with. All kids do it.....

    Answer by lissa27504 at 12:47 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Punishment is not too harsh unless it becomes abuse. If he is smart enough to understand why he's being punished, you have to go with this.

    I'm in the same boat and am struggling with my son's teachers. They won't help him with his writing because it's not "age appropriate". The problem is....age appropriate isn't *my kid* appropriate!! It's the same with punishments.

    He stays in time out (I suggest not the bed, that's supposed to be a warm, welcoming place...not a sad place where one is punished) until he is ready to behave. Time limits are useless....they get an immediate reward by being released and sent on their way. So it's "you want out of time out, you do what you're supposed to do" matter how long it takes. (standing makes it take a shorter time...they get tired of standing)

    You HAVE to start being consistent. His intelligence is going to work against you...learning to manipulate you very quickly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

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