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Is it selfish to ask my DH not to go on a week vacation with his father?

We have 2 little ones, a 2 year old and a one year old. His father is divorced and go on vacation every year. This year, he is going to the Caribbeans on a cruise and of course, my hubby asked if he could go with him and he said yes! I think it is very unfair of him to ask, seeing that I would have no one to help me with the kids while he is gone for a whole week. We cant all afford to go or we would. I want to tel him that I think it is inappropriate for him to ask, knowing that we (his family) wont be able to afford to go. And of course, I am jealous that he has that "freedom" and I dont. I feel like we should do things as a family, and if we all cant do, then we all have to stay! Am I wrong to feel this way? I know for a fact that if the tables were turned, he would never agree with me going on a week vacation with my father and leaving him alone with the kids. What do you guys think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • let him go

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Ohh I would be pissed if my SO wanted to leave me alone for a week so he could have a nice relaxing vacation in the Caribbean! He should at least tried to figure out a way for all of you to go. I don't think it's selfish of you, others might think it selfish but I don't think it is. That's just me though. If he does go, I would tell him he could go but I would want at least a couple days off when he gets back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Is his father paying for the trip for him? Or is this coming from your houses income? If his father is paying for him to go along with him so he has some one with him. I can understand him wanting to go. But if this is your DH paying his way to go and taken away from possibley the two of youn's saying money and going on a vacation together then YES I too would be upset. As for being left home watching the kids I know that part is hard but it should go both ways ... say if you wanted to take off some time then You should beable too.

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 1:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Hub and I have both taken trips without the other one. We also do things together. It's about balance. There was a time when I was very jealous of hubby because if he wanted to go somewhere all he needed was time off from work, but if I wanted to go somewhere I needed to find someone for our kids, I was a SAHM so we didn't have child care. But in the end it has evened out

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Personally if my DH and his father had an oppurtunity to go on a cruise together I would allow it. think of it like this. What if your son/daughters DH or DW told them they couldn't go on vacation with you. If my SO told me that I couldn't go with one of my parents somewhere I would go anyways. It's best to just let him go and then you plan something for yourself. Let him know that your turn is around the corner. I don't believe in telling one another what to do. It is his family. Even if it was my DH's friends I would let him go. to much control in relationships these days. I am thankful for my DH. I went to Florida for a week last year and this year he is going to vegas for a few days. I don't mind.

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 1:24 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • humm I would be mad but Id feel guilty also... Maybe this is his time to bond with his dad... especially since hes divorced myabe this is his dads way to get away from everything and be with his son.... Maybe u can make a deal with him, he going on the vacy and then when he gets back you take a few days off 2 relax

    Answer by Samantha2174 at 1:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Yes, let him go and with your blessings. If you forbid, then he'll be resentful and hurt. Don't do that to him. My husband and sons go on Father and Son vacations once a year. It is a great way for them to touch base with one another.

    Answer by Bmat at 1:54 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I would let him go, BUT, he would be making plans to send me on a nice "kid free" relaxing vacation when he returns! There really is not an issue with couples taking a separate vacation, just so long as BOTH get to have one.

    Answer by TarLion at 2:06 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I think it is nice that he and his Dad are that close. Let him go and don't worry. Gee, I had to take care of three little ones for MONTHS alone when my Dh was in the Air Force, flying off to other bases and countries for weeks and months at a time. You can do it!!! It is possible . I know you would love to go ...maybe someday ,when your kids are older. Its difficult to travel with small children-especially to a foreign country. They need a passport and many shots.
    Good luck!

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 2:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I don't blame you, I'd be pissed too. I can understand them wanting some time together but I just don't think they need a week of playing around in the carribean to bond. Besides all that, your husband is a father too and you and the children come first. That said though, I doubt you'll be able to change his mind.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 2:37 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

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