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Do you think this was mean of me?

I was talking to this kid last night, he is 21 and I am 25. He wanted me to text him and kept begging for me to... I made comments about how he is too young and I am too old for him, that because of our age, we could only be friends and kept giving him a hard time about me texting him... he said I was being harsh and that I was rude. I was being honest with him in a jokingly way because I am too old for him and we cannot be more than just friends.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • no it wasnt mean of you
    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 3:36 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • No, we all have standards. If you don't date younger men I think it was more friendly to say so then to lead him on and not date him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • 4 years really isn't being "too old". There is a 9 year difference between my parents. A 4 year difference between myself and my husband and before meeting him I dated someone who was 14 years older. It's true the younger you are the bigger a small difference can seem...not because of age, but maturity, but the number of ones age doesn't mean you can't be "just friends"! It could be that that one person could be 100% perfect for you.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 3:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • No you weren't mean. It was good that you were frank about your feelings.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:42 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I don't think you are too old for him. Calling a 21year old a kid is degrading and rude. I think you were being mean and I hope he is smart enough to not want to have anything to do with you.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:42 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I doubt you were being mean or rude, BUT after 20 a four year age difference isn't that big of a deal to me, personally. I could see where he would've disliked being called a "kid" especially by someone barely older than he is, lol! Again, if that is the way you feel then honesty is the best policy, better that than to lead him on. Would he still be a "kid" if he were 31 and you were 35?
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 3:48 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • It's not mean of you to tell him what you believe but it's mean of you to continue to talk/argue with him bc young men take that as hope that you are joking and will give in. Just say what needs to be said and end it (no more replies to txts).He'll move on. However, I don't think he's too young for you...but you didn't ask me that. My SO is 6 yrs younger than me. It's about the person not the number of years between us
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:52 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't consider him a kid once he was 24/25, he is barely in college and going to the bars... he hasn't had a lot of time to see what life is about. Everyone put me down when I told them I was talking to him... they told me that he was to young and to let him live his life. I never called him a kid, that's only what I called him on cafemom, I just told him that he was too young for me.

    ~OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • That was not mean of you. You were just being honest and that is what you should have done. You called him a kid, but your not that much older than him. My fiance is almost 3 years younger than me I'm 26 and he is more mature than most 40yr olds I know and i am glad that I didn't turn him down because he was younger than I prefered.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 4:09 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I guess I am tripping about the age difference because I am a single mom and when I was 21, I went out with an 18 year old and got so much crap for robbing the cradle and not letting him experience life before settling down.

    ~OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

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