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Do you Think books and moives like Twilght set-up Women up to desire doomed relationships?

Everyday on CafeMom a number of us has some man drama going on. Either they are not paying us enough attention of we have fallen for the bad boy. Do you think our pop culture sets us up to fail? I mean no one can honestly tell me that Edward and Bella, or even Romeo and Juillette had healthy relationships.


Asked by FuzNet at 4:49 PM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (51)
  • I read the Twilight series b/c my daughter wants to and she's only 11. I'll let her read the first 3, but not 4 yet.

    I got through 'em, but I won't be reading them again. The relationship just didn't seem balanced until nearly the middle of book 4! I got a bit tired of insecure Bella and godlike Edward. It's just.......meh. I much, much, much prefer my relationship with my breathing, warm-blooded, non-sparkly, attractive-but-not-godlike hubby. And Juliet was an idiot. Gee, couldn't she check a pulse or something? (Ok, ok, I'm ragging on Shakespeare.)

    Both parties need to be secure in themselves before they enter a relationship for it to be healthy.

    Answer by MonicaE521 at 5:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • that's why they're books, stories and movies....they're meant to be fake. but I do believe they play a role on how unrealistic our expectations of relationships are. only rare times are relationships THAT wonderful and even then, you do have dissagreements etc.

    Answer by sandypops at 4:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Well if you seek for moral compass or role models in movies you are already in trouble. Entertainment is that entertainment, it isn't a recipe for how to live a fulfilling life. If some here in CM have some drama in their lives, well maybe they made stupid choices, period. Sometimes things do happen at no fault of yours but I have read enough postings here to know that most of the drama posters are caused by stupidity and bad choices not so much for what goes on on TV or movies.

    Some young do romanticize love but they would have done that movies or not, they were expose to not the brightest role models in their lives so they perpetuate the cycle of falling for the wrong guy or allowing people to take advantage of them, etc.

    Answer by bebita at 4:56 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Sandypops: You think their relationship is wonderful? I think thier relationship is disfunctional as hell?

    Answer by FuzNet at 4:56 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Personal I agree that novels and movies should not be a person's moral compass, but to say they have no effect on how we are socialized is naive. I think the only way to counter act the strong pull of the disfunctional relationships glamourized in the media is to have strong role models at home. But so many young people don't have those role models.

    Answer by FuzNet at 5:10 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • I don't think the romanticising of couples or relationships in a storyline causes the readers expectations to change. I see it as an escape. Just an opportunity to live in someone else's shoes for an hour and go through some craziness that isn't going to be reality in your own life. I liked the Twilight characters b/c I could relate to that 'not-so-perfect, but it works', kind of relationship; that unrequited love that makes you do crazy things. I can understand that. Its just fun and exciting w/o real life drama.


    Answer by kenzie07 at 5:12 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Actually Kenzie07, I agree with escapism of it all and drama without real life drama is the only way to go. I just wonder because this is a teen book if it sets girls up to think that all good relationships should be like this.
    Yet I don't know how you make an interesting story out of a successful relationship. YOu knwo the one were you like one another, it is n't a struggle to spend time together and you don't fight about every little thing.

    Answer by FuzNet at 5:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Ahmen MonicaE521! I aplaud you for making it through all 4 for your daugther. Way to support your daughter's persuit of reading and yet still being informed of the cntent so there can be discussion. Awesome.

    Answer by FuzNet at 5:19 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • What's even sadder is that the media (TV, books, movies, the internet) sets people up to think that if they don't have tons of money and a good looking spouse, their lives mean nothing. It seems like very few people are content with being "average".

    Answer by caitxrawks at 5:30 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • If they are heading for doomed relationships because of what they read or saw in a movie then the parents didnt teach them very well the difference between real and fake.

    Do I think they are setting us up for doomed way.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 5:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2009