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Birthmothers: Have you grown up to adopt?

Are there any birth mother's who have grown up to adopt later?

I have heard of this and I can't imagine doing that myself.

What made you decide to adopt after going through the loss of your child to adoption?

It just sounds odd to me, but I would like your oppinon so I can see it from your perspective.

Answer Question

Asked by rainfalls at 7:03 PM on Dec. 7, 2009 in Adoption

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • My Mom did not but....
    In July 07 I found and reunited with my dad to find out he had gone on to adopt a newborn boy 4 years after my birth. I'm not worthy and hes adopting 4 years later? Unreal
    There are no words to describe the feelings. None

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • what a silly question

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • When I became a birth mother I was grown up already.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • first anon. I know it feels that way, and I'm not trying to tell you not to feel that way, but you know intellectually that your worthiness had nothing to do with your adoption... right?

    And it's not a silly question at all!


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • Rainfalls: what is the matter with deciding to adopt.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • My hubby isn't the bio-father of the child I placed for adoption, but we have talked (well, we did a few years ago anyway) about adopting. We never decided either way, but I know it's still in the back of both our minds someday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

  • anon:21 How do you expect her to feel about adoption? It is a very painful experience for most birth mothers.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Nope, never. I refuse to have anymore children and I would never adopt. For me, it sends a horribly confusing message to both my girls. I don't care if I win the lotto, or do something down the road to ensure complete financial security and the yearn for another child is so great, I rip my hair out. I would never adopt. And I don't understand the birthmothers that go on to do so.

    Answer by randi1978 at 1:10 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • It is a very painful experience to many birthmothers,,,,exactly. Why do you think you need to be punished for the rest of your life though if for some reason you are not able to carry a child again. Do you think that is what your child wants, for you to be miserable or in Randi's case, is that what you want for your other child.

    Being a Bmom of all people, you probably feel you have a good understanding of what an ethical adoption is and isnt. There are a lot of women who have explored all of their options and need to place their children.

    Does this also mean that you would never be with a man who has a child... doesnt accepting another child in the family send the same message.

    Do you realize that there is an excellent chance that your child will grow up healthy and not bitter towards you and just wants you to be happy as he/she was growing up. Why are you expecting this anger?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • (cont). and if you are going to say that it is because you met adoptees who learned their birthparents had other children, were they in open adoptions? There is a big difference between growing up with knowledge and learning it later.

    Frankly, I think it is less tasteful when parents divorcee when the kids are older and one goes on to have "a second family" when neglecting the first. I see no problem with a bmom having another child or adopting when she is ready.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

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