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How do I get my very stubburn daughter to potty train.

Emily will be 3 soon. this is our 2nd try at potty training. She doesn't respond to candy, stickers, bribes of any kind, punishment or anything. she went fine the first day, used the potty 4 times. Day after that she started holding it.She will hold her pee for hours (the longest being 8 hours) and basically waits for me to put her in her pull up for bed. She went fine the first day, used the potty 4 times with only 2 mistakes. Day after that she started holding it. I'm afraid she'll get a bladder infection or something. Please help. I'm at my wits end and this is getting harder and harder. I can't even get her on the potty to try now, She pitches a fit. I've put her back on pull ups till I can figure something out. I think she got too worried about mistakes and freaked out, even though I told her it was ok, that everyone had accidents.

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Asked by mkjones at 12:00 AM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (10)
  • My daughter just turned 4 and she too does not want to go number 2 in the potty. she is able to let me knw that she has poopoo in her pull up but she does not understand that she has to go number 2 in the potty. my son recently turned 2 and he has delays too. the teacher adviced us to take the pull-ups away cold turkey. no pull-up at all during the weekend. she adviced us to let my duaghter feel the poop and pee in her underwear. she said that this would make her hate being dirty to the point that she will go potty in the toilet. I have not tried this method because i have relatives living with me. good luck.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 12:09 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • My dd is turning 2 on sat. Every time I try to get her to use the potty she gets really stubborn and doesn't want to, but sometimes when I'm not paying attention to her she goes by herself. She likes Dora, so I got her some Dora panties and tell her not to pee on Dora. Sometimes that works.

    Answer by NicMorgan at 12:09 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I'm battling with my 3 1/2 year old son. He's really good about peeing, but he still keeps pooping in his underwear. We only use pull ups at night (I'm not even going to attempt night time training until we get the day time down). The really frustrating thing is he gets it, uses the toilet for pooing and then he regresses. Twice now he's had it and then due to circumstances he's been away from home (I had surgery one time so my boys spent most of a week at my sisters) and that's when he regresses. I'm pretty lucky that my mil watches him while I'm at work and she's on board with our underwear only policy, but it is frustrating. I'm kind of just at my wits end. I've tried bribes, rewards, I don't want to punish him and make it a huge issue, so basically I just let him know that I like when he poos on the potty and I don't like it when he poos in his pants and leave it up to him when he'll start going on the potty again.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:15 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I really have a strong belief that pull-ups inhibit potty training. And of course, this is just my opinion but I thought I would share it. How confusing to a child to are some underwear, that are still kind of like a diaper and it's not really ok to go potty in them, but it's not terrible either. That is even confusing to me! When I potty trained my daughter I just did it. I told her (at 2 1/2) that she was a big girl and could use the potty now. We went out and bought her all pretty new underwear (A LOT!) and that Friday when I got home we started. I took her diaper off, and never put another one back on her, ever. I put her in underwear and let me tell you, she went in them many times. But very quickly she learned that she didn't like that feeling of wet underwear and started going in the potty. By Monday she was potty trained. I know every child is different. This is just what worked for me.

    Answer by Comfycozy77 at 12:58 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • After potty training 3 kids I have come to the conclusion that you have to let them do it in their own time, that is what worked for us. I guess I got lucky with my boys it was very easy, I knew they were ready they showed many signs of being ready and had already used the bathroom several times so one night I said "oh no we are out of pull ups and mommy cant go to the store till the morning, here put these undies on for tonight and try not to wet the bed" with both boys it worked no accidents and they never went back to pull ups, I waited till they were 3 1/2 to do this. With my youngest my friend came up with the idea of princess points and it worked if she did well she got princess points if she didnt try then she lost points, and being that my daughter loves being a princess she really didnt like losing princess points lol.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:12 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Maybe you are the stubborn one, and your daughter just isn't ready.

    My daughter was four by the time she was out of diapers; she was already tying her shoes and reading.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:46 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • So stop using pullups. She obviously knows what she is supposed to do...underwear or naked and after a few accidents she'll go. Put a cover on her mattress and put her to bed. Put her on the potty and run the water in the sink. (ever had to go really bad and heard water running?)

    You've already given up once...she also figures that if she is stubborn long enough you'll give in again and she'll get her way. Don't go back or it's going to be even harder.

    I can't imagine a 4 year old in diapers....they have to be potty trained for preschool around here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I disagree that you're the stubborn one and that she isn't ready. If she's capable of holding it for hours on end, she can potty train. If she's holding it to wait for her pull-up, then I would suggest underwear around the clock. She clearly has the bladder capacity for night training as well as day. I would have her help you "throw away" all diapers and pull-ups in the house (you don't have to really put them out on the curb -- you can give them away or keep them for another child, of course, but it's the gesture that counts). She will eventually pee somewhere... just watch her closely and move her to the potty when she does. She won't like the wet pants that come from not doing this. I'm sure she's cognitively, physically and emotionally capable of this transition... you just have to show her that this is the way it is now.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:56 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Also, if she's holding it... she may not like the potty she has. I'd try a ring on the seat if you have a potty chair, or vice-versa, Also, and this is very important -- DON'T make a big deal about accidents. I would just be matter-of-fact about the whole thing, accidents and successes, if she isn't responding to rewards, stickers, etc. It's just the way it is now -- you no longer wear diapers. I've never met a kid that this didn't work for -- unless you resort to the diapers... then the holding starts all over again.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:59 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I'm having the same issues with my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I think she just doesn't care. I've gone days where I say that we are only wearing underwear today, no diapers, and I will sit her on the potty and wait for 10 or 15 minutes. If she doesn't go then I let her down and tell her that we'll try again in about 10 minutes. It seems like right after I take her off the potty then she goes in her underwear. My son just suddenly got it a month before his 3rd birthday and I am really hoping that the same thing will happen with my daughter.


    Answer by NebraskaMomof2 at 6:40 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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