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does anyone have any answers as to what they would do?

Is there anyone out there that can give some advice as to how to handle this maybe upcoming situation and what to say? My 17 year old got into the the wrong group of friends and since the past 4 years has been in almost constant trouble. Her 12 year old sister has seen this and now knows the same group of kids. Can anyone tell me how to advise my 12 year old and what I should do so that she does not follow in her sister's footsteps?

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Asked by jillians900 at 10:34 AM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)
  • Point out the change it caused in her sister, and how things went really sour..other than that I would say you may give your opinions but you trying to force them apart may end up pushing her closer to them. Just because she knows the same kids doesnt mean her personality will have the same affect. She may see herself start to change and turn them away, or just not participate in some of the bad things they do. I had friends that did all kinds of crap that i wasnt into...and eventually we hung out less and less....Give her guidance but allow her to make her own choices

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:38 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I'd lay down the law. I would explain the consequences that your 17 year old is going to have to live with and say that my 12 year old ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT see those kids. I would enforce it by checking up on her at school, calling the house where she is supposed to be with other friends, and keeping tabs on her at all times. That's what my dad did with me and I never did anything wrong because of it.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:39 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I would explain to her that hanging with the wrong group of people can bring her down with them. Ask her if she has goals, hopes, dreams. When she tells you those, explain to her that doing the things those kids do will prevent her from reaching those dreams, hopes, goals.... I know what it's like to hang with the bad kids and then never getting above that. I didn't go to college, smoked at an early age, and now I have asthma, and no career. Make it more enticing for her, ler her know that with good friends, good grades, and goals, she can have and do anything she wants with her life. That it's completely under her control, and if she makes the right choices now, she will have an awesome life in the future! GL Mom.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:43 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Have an open communication with your daughter and keep close ties with her. Make sure you check up on her and when she makes that first wrong move make sure you discipline her.

    Answer by sprinkles1000 at 10:52 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Sit down with her. Tell her to look at how her sister is always in trouble ask if she wants that kind of life? Also you have to continue to set limits and consequences with your 17 year old even though she is almost an adult so the younger one can see the consequences. When I see my children hangin out with a child they shouldnt be I say you are not to hang around them and then explain why. Thankfully thats worked. Is there a church youth group you could get your daughter involved in?

    Answer by okmommy08 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Giving people options of what the should do rather than what to avoid is easier. Talk with her about her goals and make a plan together to get there.

    maybe start the convo with "What do you want to do when you finish high school?" Then write out a plan together (working backwards) on how to get there.

    Busy kids surrond themselves with other busy kids who are all focused.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Point out to your 12 year old what your older daughter has gone through. The damages she can do to her life, where she could end up, etc. Then step up and hope she doesn't make the same choices. Children NEED to make their own choices and the most we can do is guide them in the right direction. We cannot force them to make the right choice, becuase they'll stray, become distant, and go after it anyway. You just need to show your 12 year old that there is another option, and the path her sister took isn't a good choice.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:52 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • She is still make her descisions. If these are bad people then cut all ties with them for her immediately,

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 10:18 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Yes, you're in charge.. Make sure you have open communication and let her know that life is about choices and all choices can have a positive affect or negative one. Ask her what she see's her future like and explain what she can do now to work on getting the future she wants.

    Answer by Classymoma at 10:24 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

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