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How would you react????

We have 2 children and just experienced a miscarriage. we have been married four years! My husbands grandmother asked him after the miscarriage if the could tie my tubs while dueing the d&c procedure!!!! I am furious! Am I overreacting???? She is telling us she don't want us to get pregnant and I want to concieve again!!!

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Asked by jlee38340 at 11:41 AM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I can understand being upset, but I have learned - people often express their feelings/thoughts when they shouldn't. Especially some old ladies...... and especially when it comes to children..... I have been told some crazy things.

    Just remember its your and you DH's decision. Don't worry about her. I know if it were me, the next time I was in the room with her I would talk about how much I want another baby, etc.... but that's ME, LOL

    I am so sorry for your loss..... GL in conceiving again. HUGS!!!

    Answer by ratchetlee at 11:46 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I'm sorry for your loss. If hubby's grandma lives with you this is a concern. If she doesn't then just write her off as having the runs in her mouth. That was a nasty thing to say. When my husband and I were pregnant with one of our kids and faced the prospect of me having cancer during that pregnancy a family member told me I should have an abortion because no one could take care of a baby harmed by chemo drugs if those were needed during my pregnancy. I was obviously upset myself over that. I caught my breath and just said whatever and hung up. I never spoke personally about my life with her again.

    You need to somehow nurture yourself in addition to being nurtured by your husband going through your loss. Don't answer her calls and ask husband to nurture you and in one way especially to not speak with her about such private things. That won't fuel her fire.

    Prayers for your heart and body to rest and heal mommy.

    Answer by lfl at 11:55 AM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Thanks, you know I have to be around her!!! so this is very hard! People are intitled to their opionions but she def went to far with me!!! I just hope she realizes how she hurt me and how much that comment effected me and our relationship!!! Thanks again girls!

    Answer by jlee38340 at 12:18 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • You are NOT overreacting and he needs to tell her just how offensive that was.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Older people have a tendency to say what they want with out speaking her mind. I would personally tell you that you know what she said, and that you do not appreciate her saying that you should have a procedure to your body with out your concent. I would tell her that next time she speaks badly about you or your family that she is no longer allowed to be included in any conversation. I would also express that any decisions about your family are between you and dh and you expect her to keep her opinions to herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • u shouldnt listen to what ur grandmother says...if u want to conceive again then go for it...

    Answer by JENNIFER_007 at 1:04 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

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