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I'm unhappily married, I have 3 children I want to leave my husband but he's the main breadwinner and pays for our home (which I can't afford on my own) I'm a nurse but haven't worked full time since I had children be cause my husband is always away on business. Can anyone give me some advice and reaasurance that there is actually someway to get a divorce without losing everything?

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Asked by Mommmy5577 at 1:53 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • Child support, spousal maintenance should be enough to get you started until you can go back full time. It's not like you have to do it all alone. He still has to help and it sounds like you may have been with him long enough to get the spousal support.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:56 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Why are you unhappy? I think before you rip apart the kids lives, your husband's life, and your life.... you need to really look at what is making you unhappy. Is it anything you can fix while staying put? Simply to say "im unhappy" is very selfish. Unless there is something horrible with in the family it is best to really do some soul searching and figure out what it is that would help you find some happiness.

    Is it lack of a career goal? do you feel you need some challenges? are you laking in love (in which case start at home first)? Do you feel the family doesnt appricaite you?

    What exactly is making you unhappy? Try to figure that out first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • If you've come to the end of the marriage and you know that nothing else will work in making the marriage successful then you have options but remember, just because you go and get spousal and child support on paper doesn't mean that you will necessarily receive child support and spousal support in your pockets monthly... and no one can guarantee that you will not lose everything when you walk into court because no one knows what a judge may or may not say...only reassurance you have is within your self...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:10 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Your county government website will have divorce paper work for down load. Many places have temporary orders that will be signed in 10-30 days while the divorce is being worked out. You can file for emergency support money, prevent him from canceling your insurance or phone or other utilities. You can even get the judge to order that you and the kids stay in the house and he leaves.

    Divorce is messy. You have to be prepared to lose everything because it could happen. When I knew that I would pay my ex to go away, when i didn't care about any of my possessions, my money, anything, that's when the divorce happened. Do you hate him enough to pay him to leave you alone? Then get divorced.

    Answer by ecodani at 2:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I agree with anon.

    Does your DH know you are unhappy. Is he willing to try to make things work out? Is he unhappy? Marriage takes a lot of work and unfortunately many Americans think that as soon as it gets hard they can just bail, which often times can make things even more hard but in a different way. (not saying this is you. i clearly don't know enough about your situation to come to a conclusion such as that).

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:27 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Why are you so quick to leave?For better or for worse, richer or poorer. You just want out . There is so much more to this story I bet.

    Answer by bella69147 at 2:34 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I agree with anon. Have you truly exhausted every avenue to reconnect with your marriage? Your marital vows should be a commitment for eternity. Happiness is an inside out job and if you're really unhappy, then you should be willing to go without whatever for peace of mind. Why sweat the material things, when you really should be worrying about how your children will adapt. You're a nurse and can easily replace material things, in time.

    Answer by Ewadun at 3:24 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

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