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Just need a vent...

So I am a stay at home mom with a 3 year old and a 4 month old. I also do volunteer work 5 or 6 days a week.

This weekend(and many previous weekends) I asked my DH if he could please make an effort to help keep the house tidy so that I don't have to keep cleaning up the same messes over and over again.

So this morning I'm pissed off because I 'had' the house clean yesterday and then I wake up this morning and it's a disaster again. So I start cleaning it, get both kids breakfast, get the baby dressed and keep cleaning as much as I can with the baby on my hip...while he sleeps...

Then he asks me why I'm so frustrated, when he wakes up and I start to tell him and he cuts me off.
"I cleaned the kitchen yesterday." says he.
Oh, well let me call the newspaper to let them know that you did the dishes ONE time after having me ask you to.

We ended up arguing about it and he says to me ...cont'd


Asked by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Go on strike. Do YOUR laundry, YOUR dishes and leave his mess sitting where it is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • "If you want it to be considered 'hard work' then quit complaining about it and just do it."

    First of all, that doesn't even make sense. Second of all...IT IS HARD WORK YOU UNGRATEFUL ASS!!!

    He acts like I do nothing all day because I ask for him to clean up after himself and then whines about not getting recognition every time he does anything(which is rare).
    I don't get thank yous every time I cook a meal, do dishes, sweep floors, pick up toys, do EVERYONE'S laundry, take out the garbage and the recycling, raise two small children AND volunteer for 4 hours every morning in a daycare.
    Why the hell should I have to continuously ask him to clean up after himself? He's almost 30 years old!

    I am unappreciated, not just "under-appreciated" but UNappreciated. I feel like nothing I do is worth anything and that I am seen as a nag for asking him to do something he should be doing already.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Amen sister! A good strike will point out many things that you do for him that he may not even realize at this time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Going on strike is a good way to show your point of view. I did this and believe me my family got tired or no dinner cooked, no dishes washed, no laundry done, no nothing. I sat on my ass just as they did and the thing about it they had the nerves to ask me are you gonna do something. I left it as it was for one week and soon they realize and came to their sense and clean the whole house and began to do their chorus more often. Believe me I was so loving it!!

    Answer by lovlyB at 6:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I guess I don't get it. I mean if I didn't have to work for a living and my husband was the breadwinner, my house would be spotless 24/7. Dishes, laundry, caring for kids, np. First of all if I wasn't working, I would have the TIME to clean. But also I feel thats the life I want. I wan't so badly to be a housewife and nothing but a housewife. I guess this is the grass is greener type situation. Sorry I don't have any advice but I do wish you well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • To Anon :04

    You think that you could have a spotless house while taking care of an infant, a toddler and doing 5-6 days a week of volunteering? Good luck.
    I suppose if you completely ignore and neglect your kids then there would be a way for your house to be spotless.

    The point that was being made is that her husband shows no respect by belittling what she DOES do. Plus just because there's no paycheque included with being a stay at home mom doesn't mean it's not "working".

    It wouldn't frustrate you to clean the exact same thing every single day? To have cleaned the kitchen then to have the same person come in and mess it up without any thought of cleaning up after themselves?
    You'd be fine with that?
    For someone to not show any appreciation for raising two kids and cleaning the house and volunteering?
    You'd just sit back and smile like an idiot because that's your role as the wife eh?
    Give your head a shake.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Dec. 11, 2009