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My 4 year old talked about oral sex with me--update!

I had posted a couple of days ago about my son telling me he and his friend had "kissed: one another's pee pee, they had not played together for over 4 months and he was very vague on the details, anyway we talked about it again and he said he had made it up, and I am inclined to believe this, they had never even been left alone together, that I recall. So should I just drop this and take it as vivid imagination, or do you think he could have came up with this? We have talked about good touching vs, bad touching, but IDK where to go from here, just let it die? I still "feel" like I may be missing something, but honestly, I have racked my brain, and have no clue!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think you need to take it seriously. maybe go to your local health department and set up an appointment with the child psycologist. He needs to talk to a professional, that's what they're there for. You don't want to just decide it's his imagination and let it go and years from now find out something did happen to him or is happening. Better to be safe then very very sorry later!

    Answer by Rachell9503 at 10:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Perhaps you shouldn't focus on when your Ds and his friend may have done this. Sometimes kids lie about who and when something happened to test the waters. Perhaps it never happened with this child but with someone else and your child is deflecting. I think the more important question to ask is how he learn about this? HAd he heard of it before and from where? it might be that he saw some Tv program he wasn't suppose to or it might be more serious. Just don't freak out. Try getting him involved in some project, such as coloring, and see if you can strike up a causal conversation. I don't envy you. Gl. And I hope its nothing.

    Answer by FuzNet at 3:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • OP-here, the only adult person he has ever been alone with is my DH, my father and his daycare woman provider, She watched my DH when he was small, and I know that my father would never do anything like this, I am 100% certain that DH wouldn't either, but the whole thing makes me feel really weird, he is VERY smart and very curious, so maybe he saw something, but he is acting like it is no big deal, one thing that really bothers me is a couple of weeks ago he went through a stage of pooping his pants, it seemed to be related to an incident we had in a store, but now my wheels are turning and I don't want to be an alarmist! When we talk about it, he said it feels good when I touch it, so I thought if you kissed it, it would feel good too! No signs of any trauma etc,,, so IDK but if something happened and I didn't do anything about it, I will never forgive myself!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • you should try a child pshychologist or maybe dr phil will help you find someone that can understand what he is saying. hopefully he saw it on tv or heard about it, but either way you should try to figure out where it came from.

    Answer by angevil53 at 4:09 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I posted in your original question. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology, am an experienced Social Worker and used to be a CPS investigator. A child this young will never, ever make up a sexual story from thin air. If no one kissed his peepee, then he saw someone kiss someone else's peepee. There is no other explanation no matter how badly you want to believe this even didn't occur. All kids in this situation will say they made it up when pressed. That's because they can tell by your reaction that something is wrong and that this event was not a good thing and they know if they convince you that it didn't really happen you will drop it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Thanks ANON--16, but where to go from here? I guess I could take him to a psychologist, but honestly he seems okay IDK???

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • PS--- I did what you said, earlier read the above post about his answer, thanks for your help!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Dec. 8, 2009