Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

family death soon

there is going to be a family death within a day or so, family member ill---do i take he kids ages 9 and 6 to the hospital or not---this is not there first experience with death.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • i think only you can make that choice. it depends on the family member, how close they are, how mature your kids are, etc etc,

    Why don't you ask them what they want to do?
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 5:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • It really depends on your children and their relationship with that person. I was 7 when my grandma died and I so wish that they had let me see her one last time at the end, but my Mother thought it best not to upset me. I know she was only doing what she thought was best for me...but I really wish she had let me say goodbye to my Grandma.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Like the PPs said it really depends on the family member and how close your kids are to them. It also depends on how sensitive your children are. Are they easily upset by sad things on TV? Play it by ear and really, just talk to your kids. Ask them what they would like to do and if they do wanna go, be very descriptive and tell them what to expect when they get to the hospital, so they don't get freaked out. Hospital rooms and all the things in them can be quite intimidating! Lots of luck!
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 6:35 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • it really depends on the child. We took our kids to the hospital constantly while we were losing FIL. Every time we left we made sure that the kids say "goodbye" and "I love you." We did not take them when we got "the phone call" at 6 am. No matter how mature they are for their ages, I was not going to let them watch their grandfather die.

    Given the whole situation with the swine flu, I would check if you can even still bring them.

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 6:43 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I always wished that my mom had let me go to the hospital and say goodbye to my grandpa before he passed away when I was 9. I was upset with her for years because of it, and now have a great deal of anxiety when going to the hospital to see people that I know are dying.
    IMO they are old enough to make a decision whether or not they want to go see the family member. As the others have said, it really depends on how close they are to that person but they may feel angry if they are not at least given the choice.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 7:58 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • You are ultimately the one who would have to make that decision, but if it was my children, I would take them.
    3gifts.from.god

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 8:08 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • at that age it depends on the kid...do they fully understand the whole death concept? what happens when you die? and how sensitive they are...but I can tell you right now there is no way at that age I would wanna see a dead body my mom took us as children to my aunts funeral it can be kind of scary for a kid they really don't know what they are walking into...
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 10:24 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN