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How do I tell someone that their child looks homeless?

I have a family member that uses hand me downs(as do I) but these are rags. I'm talking about jeans that are ripped so badly you can see the pockets and/or are several inches too short. People talk about her and how bad her kids look. I don't want to hurt her but I think she should know that it's not ok. This isn't a money issue either.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OMG i babysit for someone just like this they bring their 2 and a half year old in 12 month old pants that are off the wall colors with shirts that are 9 months sometimes he NEVER matches and they know i have to take him in to the school i take my child to I have to sign her in and out. Its so sad b/c he is always wearing capris as she calls them and when i take him in to her school i can just feel the people looking like ok your other child is dressed nice so are you and they think i just don't care about him I have no clue what to do last year for xmas I bought him an outfit he wears it but not together like he will wear the shirt with something else and the jeans with something that does not match (I know money is not the issue they drive nice cars and the mom goes to the massage place at least once a week) I also went and bought him some outfits to keep at my house but his mom doesn't know
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Maybe you could buy them each an outfit for x mas
    Shannon706

    Answer by Shannon706 at 6:12 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I have bought them clothes, she doesn't do laundry often enough and has so many of these rags that that is all the kids wear.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • See if you can find hand me downs that are the right size and in good shape that you can give to her. Or see if she will go on a shopping day with you for the kids. If you want to keep the price low try good will or see if there is a "plato's closet" near you, they have awesome gently used clothes there. And while shopping you could say "I think these jeans would look soooo cute on ___!" Or if she isnt a sensitive kind of person, just tell her that the clothes are just plain worn out, and you would be willing to help her find some better ones. But try to refrain from telling her any nasty comments that have been made.
    imeddiesmommy

    Answer by imeddiesmommy at 6:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Balls out tell her the truth! Explain that one day her children will be made fun of and will pick up the tab for her poor parenting/dressing or caring for them. Not to mention it may raise questions with school counselors etc.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:51 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • You could also tell her them clothes are 'out of style' lets go shopping for them so cool new things
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I would keep my judgements to myself.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:21 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • It somewhat depends on how close you are. If you're close then just come out and say it, tell her that the kids clothes don't fit and that you've heard some gossip around town about them. I know a woman who consistently dresses her kids in clothes that are too small and they're not even hand me downs, when she buys new pants she buy the size that flashes their socks and so on. I wish someone would just come out and tell her because half the town talks about her but I'm not nearly close enough to bring it up.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 8:54 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I wold find if the kids cares. If the kids doesn't care then drop it, if she does then say something. Or better yet help the child tell the parent.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:16 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

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