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She spanked my child! What would you do?

My sister in law is 17 years old. My daughter is 5. So my SIL was babysitting my DD and when my DD ACCIDENTLY droped her glass of milk on the floor, my SIL spanked her and yelled "now get your butt outta here!"

My DD told me that but my DH was sure our DD was just exaggerating. So, a few days later my SIL visited and my DD was holding a glass of water and watching TV. So, my SIL said "Michelle, now careful with that glass, or you're getting it again"

My SIL is really a sweet girl. I like her very much. But I guess she thinks she has the right to spank her because she know we spank her sometimes. My DH doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I'm so upset!!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (62)
  • I would clearly and firmly (and probably not so nicely) let her know that she is in no way EVER allowed to reprimand my child physically again.
    StefanieN84

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 8:02 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I would sit down with the SIL and explain to her she has no right to spank your daughter. Tell her what she can do if your daughter does act up when she is watching her but spilling a drink on the floor should get that reaction. It was an accident.
    youngmom2004

    Answer by youngmom2004 at 8:03 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I don't think it is the role of the aunt to spank a child. I would definitely tell her that this is not ok. She needs to apologize to your child for overstepping her boundaries. You and your husband should be the only ones to physically discipline your children.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I would very clearly tell my SIL that while I love her, spanking is something that I believe is reserved for parents and NOT for anyone else to do. Give her other options for discipline and tell her that if you hear that she spanks your child again you will not be able to trust her enough to let her watch your child.
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 8:04 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • It is not a child's, or teenagers, place to be spanking anyone's child. No other person should be disciplining anyone else's child without the parents direct affirmation to discipline where need be. The child should not be receiving such discipline from everyone though, too many outsiders and the basis for the parents discipling falls through. At least in the child's eyes. Discipline is a fine line and must be tread upon with heed to the true purpose and not fall subject to whim or mood. It is the parent's place in the childs life, a teenager simply cannot understand, nor any person for that matter, if they have not had children of their own.
    buterfly_001

    Answer by buterfly_001 at 8:06 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • i spank my nephews they say they would rather me spank and not their dad
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • she should've had your daughter help her clean up the mess instead of lashing out...it was wrong...and in the future if she is worried about her spilling stuff she can put her drinks in a spill proof cup if she thinks that she will lash out again
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • I've been through something similar with my MIL. I was REALLY steamed and told my MIL in not such a nice way, that under no circumstances was she to physically punish or discipline my daughter EVER again. She was offended, but who cares? While a 17-yr-old is not an adult, she should be old enough to know better than to spank her niece. She's 17, she's not a child. Why doesn't your DH want to make a big deal out of it?
    Emmagr

    Answer by Emmagr at 8:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • OP here

    DH thinks his sister is young and that's why she acted a little reckless.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Spanking, if any, is to be done by a parent and no one else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

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