Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does a preschooler really know how he feels or what he wants?

My 3 1/2 year old son said he didn't love me and wanted to live with his daddy today for no reason. He wasn't upset..we hadn't been arguing. He just said it a matter of fact--and left me in tears. I know he's only 3 1/2 but it hurts just the same.

Answer Question
 
jadenbaby

Asked by jadenbaby at 8:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I believe preschoolers do know how they feel and what they want. He could have said that to push your buttons.
    youngmom2004

    Answer by youngmom2004 at 8:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • They have an extent of knowledge but so very limited in its understanding. It is possible he heard someone else saying something close to that and concocted his interpretation from there. Children are strange in that they could bring up something, like a memory of an event or emotion, but with such limited understanding, can often misrepresent that emotion with an action or word that though similiar in their conotations, gives off an entirely different message. Don't worry about it jadenbaby, your child loves you
    buterfly_001

    Answer by buterfly_001 at 8:27 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • They have an extent of knowledge but so very limited in its understanding. It is possible he heard someone else saying something close to that and concocted his interpretation from there. Children are strange in that they could bring up something, like a memory of an event or emotion, but with such limited understanding, can often misrepresent that emotion with an action or word that though similiar in their conotations, gives off an entirely different message. Don't worry about it jadenbaby, your child loves you
    I agree with her too.
    youngmom2004

    Answer by youngmom2004 at 8:29 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • A reply that works when a child says something like that is to affirm what they said. So if he says he wants to live with his father. You say oh that's nice. and let it go. If you react strongly, he'll know to pull it out again. A child this age may know what he wants, but it is a want in that instant, without consideration of the consequences if his want was satisfied. He is testing borders and limits, trying out things to see reactions.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:35 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • yes, they do, there just little versions of us. My son has said things like that too, but i think it comes from other things, school, TV, who knows, and its hurt me too, just like when Teenagers get mad and say "I Hate you!"  4 and 5 year old say things too. Heck as adults we say things we dont mean to at times.   I'm sorry your hurting, but i dont think your baby said to hurt you. No one can replace his mommy.


     

    EarthHippy

    Answer by EarthHippy at 8:37 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

  • Yes, they know what they are saying. Next time he says he wants to live with dad, tell him, "ok, lets go pack a bag. I will miss you and be here when you want to come back. Lets call dad and tell him." My son used to do that too and all I had to do was tell him his bag is ready to go.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:45 PM on Dec. 8, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Preschoolers (3-4)
Skin test

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
just wondering

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN