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My husband and I prefer different churches......

Help! Our faith is a HUGE part of our family's life. My husband and I prefer different churches (same denomination, at least!) and have been going alone to our respective churches, but are both depressed because we want to worship as "a family" and can't. We have tried alternating churches every other week, but this is difficult because as we get involved in church we have more obligations. Also, our children are split on what church they prefer, too. My older one wants to go with
Daddy because that is where he is comfortable, and my younger one just wants to be with Mommy. I feel like our family is being split. Also, all social activities during the week revolve around our church families. Please, any advice???

Answer Question

Asked by buddy1212 at 7:17 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Maybe you can forgo both churches and find ONE that all of you like. I know how hard this is, my parents go to different churches its just easier for them because the kids are all gone now. And my husband and I are going through finding a church we both like right now too. But the pastor who married us told us the 3 things that will break you up is Family Finances and Faith so you have one of those happening right now. I'd say look for the answer in the Bible...I'm not sure where but I KNOW there is something in there about how to compromise on things, maybe in Proverbs? I should ask my aunt she has read about 10 versions of the Bible about 20 times, if anyone will know she will. But I do pray for you and hope you find a common ground, I know it must be so hard having children and them seeing you and your dh divided. Maybe until you can find a church you can all worship as a family at home. A good idea might be to cntd..

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:35 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • cntd...Make a list of criteria that you both are looking for and try to stick to that. Include your kids ideas may help.
    I hope you find a solution soon!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I would be so glad just to know that my hubby is a man of God that all else would be nil. My hubby and I've been married 27 years and both attend different churches. My two sons prefer his church, while my daughter goes to a different one with her friend. I go alone to my church. Occasionally, we'll attend each other's social functions. It really doesn't have to be a major issue unless you make it one.

    Answer by Ewadun at 7:49 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Ephesians 5:22: "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord,". [Also Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1...)]
    You already know the right thing to do. xxx

    Answer by CosyMama at 7:54 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • cosymama...i was thinking the exact thing!! completely!

    Answer by thehairnazi at 8:40 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I would go to different churches if this is what felt comfortable for the rest of my family. I would find ways to come together at home.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 11:04 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I have to say.. If your husband is a GOD FEARING SPIRITUAL LEADER OF THE HOUSEHOLD... you are required by scriptures to follow HIS lead. He is responsible for protecting you not only in the physical sense but also from false doctrine, evil spirits, and help in discerning what is coming at his family under his covering as husband/dad. He can't preform his duties if you aren't together in all things!
    I am with the ladies that quoted the scriptures from Ephesians 5.2 and the other scriptural teachings. I would also recommend a fine going over the 7th chapter of 1st Corinthians. And possibly even Genesis 3 where the LORD commissions Adam with HIS husbandly duties to Eve.
    God bless you... PRAY ABOUT IT! Seek the LORD'S face daily... HE CAN AND WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY!

    Answer by LoveWiseCouncel at 1:24 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Someone posted it and I'm gonna have to agree.. your husband according to the bible is the head of the household.. you and your children should be going with him. If you're a bible believing, bible following Christian... then that's the answer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • PLEASE listen to      free bible study and chat  free to call them week days... 1800.888.7077   .you can look for a nother church you both like ..........


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I have the same problem. My husband and I attend different churches in the same denomination. I don't like his and he refuses to come regularly to mine (Where we both used to belong.) He says if he comes to mine, he would be submitting to my spiritual authority because I chose to go back to that church. I personally hate his church because it's creation has caused so much damage to my marriage. (He committed the both of us with out my consent, to being members of the group starting the church. I've been trying for several years to get out of that committment.) I've brought up the fact that leaving the our/my church initially should have been a family decision as our kids were old enough to voice their opinions. My daughter handicapped and involved in the handicap ministry and my son loves the youth group at my church.

    Answer by kandamom at 12:46 PM on Jul. 4, 2010

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