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Did I stop in Time?

Ok so..I had to go out of town b/c my grandma was sick over TG and she passed dh and I didnt agree on me being away for a week from the fam..caused tension and a little argument. At the airport I was sitting in the bar having a glass of wine and reading a mag and a man I had conversed with at the tix counter sat at the table accross from me and started talking. He offered to buy my next drink, I allowed him to sit because I was bored (my dh hadnt returned any calls/texts to me ALL day and this was the day I burried my g-ma) so me and the guy ended up on the plan talking for an hr and a half and then at the layover at a restaurant then he and i texted for a week after before i said I couldnt do it anymor and cut all comm. The convo was never sexual or anything when he expressed affection I never returned it and told him to respect that I was married. I just needed someone to talk to. I feel bad..but didnt cheat right?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No You did exactly what should had been done. When he tried to take up to the next level you cut all ties. There is nothing with having friends of the oppisite sex you just have to know where to draw the line. Sounds like you did GREAT

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 8:53 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • No, you didn't cheat and made it clear you're married. The guilt came from not being able to confide in your Husband when you needed him most. When you're grieving it's very easy to latch on to someone who will listen. Believe me I have been there... Just mark it up to a lesson learned, and remember the reason you married your Husband. If you can't talk to him, then there may be some issues you need to address with him.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:57 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Anon 8:57 why do you have to be in ATTACK mode? Yes there are issues that my dh and I need to address but the thing is we ARE and at that time I was feeling abandoned by him, we are always in communication usually and on that day of all days he didnt so much a text to say hey I hope you are ok considering I was at my g-mas funeral and had just spend 5 days watching her die. He ddidnt thin I should have been there that long he said i should have come home to "take care of my family" but i was...i hd made arrangement for our dd to be taken care of here so he wouldnt have to and i was trying to say good bye to my gma too. I know what i did wasnt RIGHT but I feel like i didnt cheat I did draw the line and I also made it clear to the other guy that i wasn't interested in romance or anything i just enjoyed his company and some to listen and talk to. i wish i had left it at the airport but didnt..but i did end it period.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You are just like me. We talk but that is where we draw the line. Be proud of yourself. You are a good woman. As ladies , we know where to draw the lines.

    Answer by bella69147 at 9:05 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You just used a shoulder to cry on. I know how it is, I burried my mom this past January. I had her for 62 years & it helps to talk about it as it helps to ease the pain.

    Answer by kwhit190211 at 9:52 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I don't think what you did was cheating. Hopefully though, it made you realize just how quickly one can fall prey to another man's attention. So never forget that you are vulnerable, and immediately nip any future attention that might be paid to you by anyone other than your hubby. Next time, you might not be quite so strong.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:20 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I do not think it was cheating at all, just a stranger who was there to comfort you and give you a place to talk. and thats kinda cool imho, just a random stranger helping another. but nannyb has a good point, sometimes we are vunerable and goiven the right set of circumstances, next time or another time...your choice could have been different and destrctive.
    really sorry about your loss :(

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:34 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Right, you did not cheat

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:11 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You did good. You did cut it off in time. Sometimes it's hard because what feels like a normal conversation with another human, can sometimes turn in to something more serious & i think you did catch it in time.

    I think you were in need to talk to someone, & that can be really helpful & cool sometimes, especially when you click with a total stanger. That does not happen often. But, you recognized that it was the chatting was getting out of hand, & stopped it. I think you are a GREAT wife!

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:45 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Thanks to all of you. Its nice to have support! I just needed a person to talk to and he and I just clicked like you said...but he started to get into the topics of fate and serendipity (asked me to watch the movie) and all that sort of stuff and I was like, But I LOVE my husband...married people have issues all the time" and I thanked him for being a friend and helping me thru a tough spot but told him we had to stop talkin, I hate being sneaky and there was just no need in it. I feel awful though, watching my dh bust his butt every day to provide for us and then I go and do something like that. It just didnt feel good and I will NEVER do that again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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