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What things would you put in a parenting plan? I'm getting a divorce and need to know what to include.

Our son is 6 months old.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (4)
  • Address any specific issues you may have, does dad drink? gamble? etc. who gets which holidays? who has custody & when? stuff like that
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:16 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I am a big fan of putting in the paper work that neither parent can have an overnight guest of the opposite sex when they have custody of the child. In my state it is also very common to say that Dad does not get the baby overnight until after the age of 2 years (depends how flexible your baby is at sleeping in different places and whether or not you're breastfeeding). If alcohol was a problem in your marriage, then you need to include that neither parent can drink when they have the child for visitation.

    What ever you agree to as far as visitation goes and put in the divorce papers stands pretty firm. It's really hard to change it later. So be sure to think about what you want and include it all during the divorce.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:20 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Be sure to add the first right of refusal claus. That simply means if the kids are in the care of the other parent and the other parent has to work they have to contact you and offer that you watch the kids before pawning them off to a family member or day care. Its important most during summer visits etc. I would also add no overnight visits of the opposite sex unless they are related. This helps to insure the kids are not exposed to a number of bf/gf's coming in and out of the home as it sets a bad example and opens it up for who knows what else to go on in the home. More kids are molested by people they know, and having given counseling to many families often times it is a bf/gf who does it. Have child support regulated through the state, this keeps a headache away from you as well. Let child support enforcement deal with it and direct deposit child support.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Write a list of everything you can possibly thing of: issues to be resolved, issues in your childhood you don't want repeated, anything/everything that comes to mind. You can go back through the list later and cross off umimportant ones, but you don't want to leave anything out now. Talk it over with friends and relatives, if they know about your divorce they probably have a ton of annoying things to say, which could turn actually turn into some good ideas. Remember to also think about the future, he's not always going to be six months old. You'll have to work, he'll have to go to school/daycare, who will be picking him if one parent works later. Also, just in case now it's a peaceful divorce, think of things that may arise if it gets to be a vicious one. What kinds of things will he try to pull and see what he can get away with. You never how he will change. Sorry so open, I'm a child of divorce and my mom got screwed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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