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DH is deployed is it wrong that I dont call his parent when he calls or texts?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • No it isn't wrong. When my husband deploys, I do call his parents periodically and update them but not every single time he calls or emails.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 11:16 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Question to you. Is DH writting to you or his parents. Appairently DH is talking to you,so let it be.
    kwhit190211

    Answer by kwhit190211 at 9:47 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Yeah, that's kinda harsh. You're his only link to them.. cuz he's choosing to call you. Unless of course, he doesn't want you calling them, then that's a different story. Or unless he's calling all the time, if it's a weekly phone call, then it would prolly be nice to tell them.
    It really depends on how old he is too... if he's a teen still or early 20's, I can see them wanting to know more about him, but if he's late 20's early 30's.. they really need to let their son go lol..
    Pocketmouse

    Answer by Pocketmouse at 9:47 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Why should you have to tell his parents when he calls you??? I'd call them from time to time and let them know he's ok but everytime he contacts you is insane.
    trevsrockinmom

    Answer by trevsrockinmom at 9:47 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I think it would only be wrong if your husband is asking you to contact his folks, and you are not doing it. If they want to know if you've heard from him, and they contact you to ask, then by all means you should answer their questions. I see no reason why you should have to of your own choice call them every time you hear from him unless you just want to. While it's a nice gesture, it is certainly not a requirement.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:18 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Isn't that your job? I thought the military and your dh expected you to show them that courtesy. In exchange you get free rent, free basic utilities, cheap food prices, free medical...it seems like a pretty sweet gig to me. Is it too much to ask for you to take moment out of your life to allow them to know he's ok especially if he's in some war zone. If it were your son wouldn't you appreciate it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • if he qasks you to, then yes wrong. but as a mom, if my son was fighting in a a war so far from me, I would appreciate a call from DIL saying"I heard from dh today, hes good" thats all you have to say, or send an email when a new call comes in. I mena, if you werent a lil worried it wasnt an ok thing to do, you wouldnt have posted this question a t all...good with your heart and how you would feel if it were you.
    Now my inlaws? they are insane and super toxic so I dont communicate with them at all anympore. lucky me :o)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:31 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • No. If they ask I would tell them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell them. DH can write/text/email/phone them himself. That's HIS job to keep in touch with them, not yours. If he calls you, then he calls you. I wouldn't go out of my way to tell DH's parents.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:44 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • yeah, i think you should... maybe not EVERY SINGLE TIME... but in general. my brother is deployed AGAIN right now and when he is able to call home, he calls his wife and kids mostly. as he should. but he does it with the knowledge that she sends out an email letting us all know she spoke to him and for today, everything is ok. when he is stateside, we all stay in close contact but when he is overseas, we understand his need to put his immediate family first (especially the kids) and we are content with what my sister in law passes along. when he is able he and i talk via emal also. but yeah, it is good to know. we love him too! and we like to know of his safety! if it has been a while, i ask when she last spoke to him, how he is ect...
    and to the person that said if he is over 30 we, his family, should 'really let their son go', i know you put lol but even if he is 100 his baby sister will not 'let go'! PERIOD! EVER! :)
    movin_mommy

    Answer by movin_mommy at 2:46 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • When DH was deployed I didn't call he's mom everytime he called. I maybe talked to her 10 times the whole time he was gone. I always had my yahoo messenger up and I always chatted with he's sister. And she would relay the message to her mom. Unless it was something important I didn't call. Usually I email first just cause she works a lot.
    oragami

    Answer by oragami at 3:43 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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