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Mom want my DD to call her step-grandfather Grandpa?

ok, heres the deal, mom got divorced in cali, we moved to ar.....dad got remarried *6yrs ago* mom did too 2 months ago. we call my hubbys mom n dad abuella/abuello. my dad grandpa n melissa *stepmom* aunti melissa and my mom is grandma and her hubby was uncle roger....now, my mom is so pissed that i refuse to budge on the whole uncle roger this, she had wanted us to call him grandpa roger, but no. she has a grandpa, thats it. then i suggested like, an alternative name, paw paw or pepaw or something, but id still prefer uncle roger *my grandmother sides with me* and theyve been together coming up on 3 yrs now so im not too sure. he ACTS like a grandpa, (more than my dad does) but i just an uncomfortable with it. my moms side of it is that it *sounds weird* uncle roger lives with grandma.....*we live in a *hick* town* but all that takes is a little explanation and who is she hnestly gonna tell? should i bend and let her?

 
shortycmlb

Asked by shortycmlb at 9:56 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,987 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • I say let the kid call him Grandpa Roger. The more grandparents the better I think.He is not replacing your dad. Not only that but you said he was more of a grandpa than your dad... I just don't see the problem with making him happy.
    Now if he was a creepy old guy that treated everyone poorly, then I could see your dilemma, but you imply he is a nice guy.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 10:02 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • how old is your daughter? in my opinion I would let her call him whatever SHE is comfortable with. As for me and my mom she is grandma and her husband is just james, but right now my son is to young to get the whole gma gpa thing.
    lovemybaby283

    Answer by lovemybaby283 at 10:03 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • she's a year old but even though im seriously uncomfortable with it? my hubby feels the same way........we have called him uncle roger the whole time and now they want to change it?
    shortycmlb

    Answer by shortycmlb at 10:08 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Let your child decide what she will call him. Stay completely out of it. I didn't even dictate what my own grandchildren would call me. I let them choose. What a senseless thing about which to be so adamant. Just tell the woman your child will decide when she is ready and to not put any pressure whatsoever on her.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:16 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I dont think it would be so bad to give him a grandpa name. When she gets older people will ask your dd what she calls her grandpa. No one is going to assume he is called uncle if he is sitting in a Diner with her Grandma. You can never have to many grandparents. You could call him some other form of Grandpa like Papa or something. If you start out calling him Uncle it may confuse your dd as to family relationships. I used to call my dds step-grandpa Grandpa Ralphie. My dd is 7 as she has started calling her Grandparents whatever she wants. She told me to quit saying Ralphie at the end cause its the only Grandpa she has so she knows who Im talking about lol. We called my mom Mamaw for years and when she was 5 she said she was calling her Grammy and she still has called her that. Teh name doesnt matter, but the relationship does so dont strain it by being hung up on something small.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:27 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You can call him uncle but when talkin to your dd say "You ready to see pop-pop?" or whatever you decide for her to call him.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:28 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I would go with "Pappa" something to make your mom feel happy, but it's still not "Grandpa". I can understand why people seeing it as weird that you call him "Uncle". He's not her uncle either, so I mean you could bend a little bit and give him an alternative Grandpa name.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:43 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • i see no problem with calling him grandpa Roger. My DD has her paternal grandpa which she calls pop pop, & she has her (step) grandpa on one side she calls "Granpa Gene" (grandpa Gene is her step fathers, step dad), then she calls her step dad's bio father "grandpa Gary". I'm just glad she has so many people who love her. My DH has no children, & does not want any of his own, so his family really thinks of my DD as their grandchild. Love them to pieces!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:39 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I don't feel like "Uncle" is an appropriate title since uncles are your grandparent's children. I say go with Grandpa Roger - or your child may come up with something on her own. My mother wanted to be Grammy, but my nephew just made up Mema on his own and that's who she is. Sometimes you can't help what the kids call people. My husband's step father is Grandpa Tim to my son, but when he's around I just say "Grandpa." I don't see what the big deal is.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 1:10 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I don't think there should be any issue with your DS calling him by a Grandpa name. I'm not sure why your mother has a preference for the name, unless that is what Roger really wants to be called. If he is acting more like a Grandpa then, IMO, he deserves the love shown by the use of an affectionate name. As a PP said, your LO will end up calling him whatever they want anyway, lol. I would ask Roger if he has a preference for Grandpa, or if he wants to be a Papa or whatever. He might say Uncle Roger is fine, although I think that is way more confusing to the child in the long run. What to hear about my family tree? My dad is Grandpa, my LH's dad is Pops, my LH's stepfather is Pappy, my Godfather is Pepa, my DH's dad who is my LH's uncle and therefore both my uncle and FIL by marriage is Papa. We figured if we continued to call my FIL Uncle Ricky he would be robbed of his Grandpa name because all of our future children, Cont'd
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:12 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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