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Embarrassed

I live in a little 3 bedroom ranch. I am embarrassed of my house because its smaller than all of my friends houses. We dont ever have anyone over because of this. The kids dont even have friends over. I feel really guilty about that. I have tried and tried but I just dont feel relaxed when people are over. I want to change this and not be embarrassed but I cant help it. Any suggestions? No bashing please.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Home & Garden

Answers (18)
  • No bashing from me. Kinda in the same spot as you. We live in a small 3 bedroom house with 1 bathroom. Very hard w/ one bathroom and two teens in the house. Showers, etc., have to be scheduled otherwise there is mayhem. : ) So far as company goes, same feelings here sometimes. We have family members with HUGE homes and they hold big lavish parties. One thing that I have learned over the past few years, some of them (not all), are in debt up to their eyeballs for those things. When we are going to host a function, I do what I can to take it to a public park, the church rental space, etc. If that is not possible, I clean everything up the best that I possibly can and go for it. I'm not saying that I am necessarily comfortable about it, but I do try my best to be a good hostess. One thing that I always keep in mind when I feel down about it is that you don't have to look far to see families who have so much less. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I think you home sounds cozy and wonderful. Since you have a quaint house, make your company quaint. For instance dont make a huge meal, just invite them over for lemonade in the summer or for dessert in the evening. You can always hang out with friends at a public place like a restuarant with a play area.
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 11:18 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • When my kids were little I was very involved in LaLeche League. It was almost 30 years ago and LLL was different then. We had at least 2 meetings a month and the moms became great friends. Most of the moms in our group had very nice homes.

    We lived in a mobile home. I made it great for kids. All the cabinets had locks, everything was childproofed, there were no sharp corners to fall on. Everyone liked coming to my mobile home because we didn't have to worry about the kids getting hurt.

    After my divorce my 3 children and I moved into family housing at a university. It was about 700 sq ft. My 3 kids were in a room that was like 10 by 10. I just did the best I could. People would come in and be surprised at how nice I had made a concrete apartment. I was ok with people coming over.

    I think if you do the best with what you have then there is no reason to not invite others over.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:20 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I guess that I don't understand your position. If you look at this globally, you are better off than 90% of the world's population.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:25 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You bought the house you could afford to buy right? You should be embarrassed about that. Unless you want to keep up with the Jones.  It is not the size tha counts. It is if you have a nice house. Inside and out.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:28 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • its not the house...but how you make it a home.

    we used to live in a mobile home too...I was horribly embarrassed too. even when people always voted for our house to be the gathering house for birthdays and other picnics and things with friends (all families). I never understood how they can have these great houses with extra rooms and stuff yet choose to come to our dinky little trailer.

    now we have a bungalow (thanks to baby #3) - its still smaller than all the friends yet they still want to come here.

    I still really want those big houses with tons of room...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I agree with the above posters. also why not have only one or 2 people over at a time. You dont have to have a big party but your kids could still have a friend over. When I was growing up my favorite homes to go to werent the big fancy ones. It was laways the houses that were lived in and cozy. It didnt matter if all the furniture matched or the wallpaper was peeling up or the laundry was still being folded. Those were the houses that had real people in them. When I got to high school we had a sunday school teacher who had us to her house all the time. They were always inviting and had movie nights and we all ate our of washed out cool whip bowls. They had the least and gave the most. When we were with them they cared about who we were and not what we had and thats why we loved to go there!! everytime I dream of a magazine house I remember this.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:35 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Thanks ladies.. you guys lifted my spirits.. My house is quaint.. nice fireplace. new kitchen. The size shouldnt matter your right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Thanks ladies.. you guys lifted my spirits.. My house is quaint.. nice fireplace. new kitchen. The size shouldnt matter your right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Well, how many kids do you have and what are their ages? To be honest I do think it gets to a point where the size does matter. Eventually they are going to need/want room to run around. I know because my sister had 4 kids under the age of 5 and uh, that gets tough. She finally moved into a bigger HOUSE (rather than apartment) and is SO much happier now :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

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