Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Was our entire relationship a lie??

Would you feel like your relationship with a man was a lie, if he went back to the woman he was with right before he started a relationship with you? In other words, he's back with his ex. He and I just broke up after 3 yrs together, have a 1 yr. old together & he was a father figure to my dd from previous relationship. Background on the ex: Before i started dating him, she was pregnant w/a baby he thought was his, they took a test and it was proved not to be his son. they have NO kids together & the entire time we were together he constantly threw her in my face. Now he says he's back with her and moving in together. Would you be confused and hurt?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • OP

    By the way, this same EX caused a lot of problems for us in the beginning of our relationship. She would call and harrass me & tell me they were still having sex with each other. We broke up for a long time after that and eventually got back together. He still threw her in my face and constantly compared me to her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I would be grateful. Grateful that he is out of you and your dd life. Yes, you will feel hurt but confused your shouldn't. The fact that he kept throwing her up in your face should have been a warning sign. I am sorry you were hurt but take it from me. You and your daughter deserve better. Wait for a great man, take your time to heal and learn from this. Move on.
    usanamama

    Answer by usanamama at 11:23 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You're better of without him! He obviously doesn't respect you. Someone wonderful will come along.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I agree w/ the previous poster. Be grateful, not for being hurt, but be grateful that he isn't going to drag out this nonsense any longer. You deserve better Mama.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I would agree you are better off moving on with your life. Sounds like he continued to having feelings for her even thou he might of tried moving on with you . But do yourself a favor and don't dwell on it . Just be glad that your not going thow all the drama with them... Find a new guy
    Shaqbe4u

    Answer by Shaqbe4u at 12:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • It sounds as though he was never completely over her, I'm sorry he played this out with you for 3 years. (This happened to me but we had only been together for 4 months). Him throwing her in your face was definitely a red flag he was handing you, but its so hard to see that when you really care about someone.
    You have every right to be hurt and angry...I know I would be. In the long run however, you will be better without him, you can find someone that loves and respects you.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Be glad he is gone. I would be pissed off, not confused. He is a loser, let him go back to his loser ex. She is just going to cheat on him again anyway. She was able to do it one time & get away with it, she'll do it again. What a doofas!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Yes, your relationship was a lie, or at least, it was a big deception to you. It was probably because you wanted so desperately to believe that he was interested in you in the same way you were interested in him It's time to look the truth in the face and let him go. In the future, remember that a guy who will shack up with one woman will usually shack up with any woman who is willing to settle for that kind of relationship. If you are interested in marriage, home and a family. wait for a guy who is looking for those things. If all he's looking for is a sexual relationship, tell him up front that you will not be used ever again in that manner and he can just go somewhere else to get what he is looking for. There are still good decent men who are looking for wives who will be true to them and who will honor and respect them. Please don't give those things to someone who is undeserving of them.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:05 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Did he leave her to be with you? Were you two fooling around while they were still together? If so than you got what you deserve, if not than you are just better off without the creep.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:13 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN