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What do you considering drinking too much?

Every evening my husband has 3-5 rum and cokes! He sits in front of the TV and sits in the same spot all evening unless someone comes to talk to him. I know he needs time to relax and maybe tv does that. I know he has anxiety because his job is not going they way he wants. He is an expert and hiding feelings. he has gained over 30 pounds this year. So he started buying me wine and I started drinking with him every night too. Then I realized that I was drinking too much also (I drank wine) So if I come through the door he gets up to pour me a drink. I have been telling him No! He acts like I should drink too. I told him I am giving it up. However he still went out and bought more wine. I asked why and he said just in case you change yoor mind. He is not violent or anything but I think he drinks too much. Am I overracting?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Using alcohol as an outlet for stress is fine if it's only on occasion. He is doing this everynight and using stress as the excuse to drink. Now, he's trying to get you to do the same. That is a borderline alcoholic.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:37 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Trust your gut. If you think it's heading in a bad direction, talk to him about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • He is drinking to much. To me. One drink a night is ok, maybe two. After that you are going to alcoholic stage. JMO


    Answer by louise2 at 11:42 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • 3-4 a night seems deffinitly a bit much to me. I grew up with an acholic mom so i guess i could be a lil judgmental


    Answer by 31angelmommy3 at 11:42 AM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • wow. to me thats not alot . mine drinks cases of beer i meam like 5 32pk a night

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • In my opinon that is too much. I would have a fit if my husband drank like that every night. And he's buying you wine out of guilt because he KNOWS he's drinking too much

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • My DH drinks about 3-4 beers a night. But, he gets home at 3:30 in the afternoon & goes to bed at 10:00. So, it's not like he is chugging beer trying to catch a buzz. He barely catches a buzz at all actually. It's his way to relax, & i have no problem with it. He does not get drunk, & he helps around the house. If your DH is actually getting drunk every night, then i would worry. My DH does not like getting drunk, but he is good with drinking 3-4 beers during a 6 hour period. That is not enough alcohol in that time frame to get buzzed. I think a lot of men like to have their drinks when they get home from a tough day. As long as they are not totally sloppy, i don't see it as that big of a deal.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:20 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • IMO any amount is too much if the person feels like they NEED it in order to relax, whatever. Again, IMO, you have a problem on your hands. He sounds like he is well on his way to becoming an alcoholic. Believe it or not, it really can happen right before your eyes. Trust your GUT. If you are getting those internal warning bells, listen to them! You know your situation better than anyone.

    I have several journals that speak towards life with an alcoholic. Please read them and PM me if you'd like.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I think you two have a problem. When he pours you wine just let it sit there until he gets the message that you don't want to join him. Don't touch it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • If he is drinking and putting on like you said, 30lbs. he has a drinking probelm. He needs to try lexapro instead of alcohol to reduce his stress. I think if he see's you drinking than everything is okay in his book. I really think he needs help with his stress level and all. Good luck!

    Answer by goldielock37 at 4:42 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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