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i need help

I have decided to do the 40 day love dare. today is my second day, and they aren't very HARD for me to do, it's that I don't know if it's worth it. my husband says that he's tired of being married, and we got married too soon/too young. He says this isn't the life he wants and he wants me to leave. Well I have told him flat out I'm not leaving, if ANYONE is leaving it will be him. I don't want our marriage to end, I just don't know what to do anymore. He won't talk to me, I'm not allowed to come close to him, forget touching him, I'm tired of him not caring about me anymore. I just don't know what to do. Please help ladies. And once again I DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE so that is not an option


Asked by Zacherysmommy08 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Since you are doing the "Love Dare" I am going to assume you are a Christian. Correct me if I am wrong and understand I mean no offense by that assumption.

    When I was feeling the way you do I turned to God and told Him that I couldn't leave on my own, that if that's what I was supposed to do He would have to tell me so clearly that I wouldn't be able to misinterpret His intent. He never did. I think you are doing everything you are capable of. You love this man and you are fighting for him. Don't give up, cover your relationship in prayer, ask God for guidance and a softening of your husband heart. Unfortunatly, end the end, if your husband decided to file for a divorce there is nothing you can do about it aside from everything you are already doing and have done. Ask DH to give you 6 mos, or whatever, to both sincerely try. He owes you that, right? If he divorces you, you can have a clear conscious about it. Cont'd.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:04 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You don't have any other option.

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • honey believe it or not that is really similar to what i am going thru. Our problem is that we dont get along. We fight and argue about everything and i fear my marriage is also going down the drain. Id love to connect with you. my lil man just woke up from his nap but we should talk later

    Answer by 31angelmommy3 at 12:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • why do u wanna be with someone who doesnt care about you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • If he does not care about you or want you near him...why would you want to be near him? He doesn't love you, so why put yourself through it? Why bother trying to fix something that can't be fixed. If he doesn't want it to work, it wont. Forget about it. It's not going to happen. Give him his space, leave him alone for a while. Spend a few days away from him...if he really does care about you at ALL...this will help him realize that. He wants you gone so bad....leave for a little while...maybe he'll miss you and want you back. I dunno. This is stupid. I can't believe you're staying in a relationship like this.... sorry...good luck

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 12:55 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • This is tough. Both people have to at least be willing to give things a chance- if he won't do that, what can you do? I guess at least he hasn't left yet so he is still there. You can only control your own actions, but keep trying to talk to him and see if he will agree to try something to work on things. Good luck to you. You deserve to be married to someone who wants to be with you.

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:55 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • He says he does, he's just not acting like it. i know who my husband is, and I love him to death. I just don't know what is going on with him right now, and i need advice/help on how to hang in there through all of this

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 12:56 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I am on your side. If he wants a divorce, he should be the one to leave and get one. I have all the Love Dare stuff and have seen the movie. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it. It's available to buy now, and it might be worth your investment to buy it and watch it where your husband might catch parts of it. My best advice to you is to love him to the best of your ability, following the suggestions in the book. If he still chooses to depart, at least you will have the knowledge that you did everything you possibly could have done.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:59 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • God wants you to be with someone to love and cherish you as much as He does. It may be your husband (hopefully) or it may not. Good luck and blessings to you!

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Yes i am a christian Windy. And not a so called "christian", I go to church every sunday, wednesday, and all activities. We're involved with the youth at the church, I do nursery, I'm in the choir. i do devotions, I pray...... this is so unexpected for me. i'm just at a loss on what to do.

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2009