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Will I feel the same?

Hello everyone. I am a mother of an 11- month old and my husband and I are expecting our second in Feb. I am so afraid that I will love one more than the other or my daughter will feel neglected while I am taking care of the baby. What advice do you have that can ease my mind, because I feel terrible. Thanks!


Asked by babybear0306 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • You don't need to worry, you'll love then both. My first 2 are 21 months apart, my advice is to include your dd in everything from diaper changes (she can hand you diapers and wipes) to helping to feed (she can give you burp cloths and things) and make sure that you let her know how much you love her, what a great big sister she is and so on. When you get a chance spend 1 on 1 time with her, like giving her a bath or leaving baby at home with daddy and you taking her to the store with you. You'll both do fine. Good luck!

    Answer by BusyBeesmom at 1:01 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • daughter turned two in october and my son is 6 months old. So she was 19 months old when he was born. I kinda feared the same thing. But trust me, you'll love them just the same. And she probably will get jealous, but that's normal too. You'll do fine. Don't stress about it.

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 12:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I had the same fears when I was pregnant with my youngest. My twins were only 10 months old when I got pregnant with her, and I thought they were going to feel left out because of the new baby, or what if I didn't love her as much as I loved the twins. As soon as I had that baby, and I held her in my arms, all my fears were forgotten. I was still a little nervous about how the other two were going to handle a new little person taking up their mommy's time, but it all works out in the end. Just take a deep breath and relax...everything will be fine and you will find a system that works for your family once the baby comes! Good luck, and congrats!! :)

    Answer by fallnangel93 at 12:58 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You have a common fear. Most people will say something like you will have enough love for both of them.

    That's true. As they grow there will be times you like one more than the other. It may switch back and forth. It can be hard to not let them know which is your favorite.

    Your babies are so close in age! The World Health Organization recommends waiting at least 3 years before ttc. It's best for the mother and the baby. I'm sure you didn't know. Doctors in the US don't tell people. That is part of the reason the US ranks 41 in maternal death rate.

    It may take your body a long time to recover. Nutrition will be important.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:05 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • They say that its normal! I am going through the same thing right now! My daughter is 19months, and she is my everything! but my hubby and i are expecting again in June, and i am so worried that i wont love the new baby as much as i love my daughter. So your not alone!

    Answer by babymaddy at 2:15 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I think every mom feels this way when expecting #2. My son was almost 4 when my daughter was born and I thought that was the perfect age difference. My son was old enough to do most things on his own and he was going to start pre-kindergarten soon. I asked for his help a lot when my daughter was an infant, he helped with everything from getting diapers and wipes to picking out her outfit for the day or deciding which toy to give her.
    Don't worry, you will have so much love for both of them.

    Answer by NebraskaMomof2 at 2:19 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You never know how big your heart is until you have a baby, and each baby that comes after that seems to make it bigger. Lots of people have this worry before their new baby is born - I've never met anyone who still had this feeling after the baby came :) You'll see the moment you hold your new baby that you love the first just as much as before and you love the second exactly the same.

    In time you'll appreciate different things about each, but you won't love one more than the other.

    Answer by beckcorc at 3:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2009