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How do you tell everyone? HELP

With my son's birth it seemed as thought the whole world came to give their support. I thought thats what I wanted, but in fact I hated having everyone their. My mother-in-law even had the nerve to tell me that her sons ex-wife (my SO's brother) that she did a BETTER job!!! He daughters where 5 pounds 5 oz at the most and her labor lasted 4 hours! I was in labor from Sunday night until Thursday Morning... Anyways, I do not want anyone there with us when we have this baby. Just my SO and a friend of mine for support, since my SO will not be in the room with me. I dont want anyone coming to visit until we have had a chance to introduce our son, who will be only 17 months at the time of birth. How do I go about telling everyone?? I dont want to be rude... But I dont want everyone there...

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Asked by ashley_hatty at 1:11 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 8 (210 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I just flat out told my family that we would call them when we went to the hospital, my sister was going to watch our oldest, and that after the baby was born we wanted our oldest in the room first and time alone with just the four of us. I didn't make it an option for anyone, just told them what our plan was. When we felt it was time they could come in, we called and told them. We were not rude about it, just clear with our plan! Hope it works out for you!

    Answer by khedy at 1:21 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I had the same problem with baby #2 and #3 I simply told everyone that we felt like we wanted the older sibling to have a chance to see baby first before anyone else and that once we were ready for more people to come we would let them know. Not everyone was happy about this but they respected it. It made it better, we called them when baby was a few hours old and we and our kids had had time alone with them. It worked out well. MIL didn't like it but oh well we did what was best for us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • It's not rude unless you tell them in a rude manner. It's your decision, not theirs.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 1:23 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • oh and make sure you let them know you will call as soon as baby is born with the weight, height time and all that then will call again when they can come, makes it easier on them I think.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I'm in a similar situation. My mother and sister are very disappointed that they won't be allowed in the delivery room AGAIN (didn't have anybody in with our son, will only have SO in for our daughter.) I just told them flat out that this is how I wanted things. They'll have my son during l&d so they will be the first three to meet her after she arrives. Telling them that seemed to help a little. Just point out that it is important to you to do things your way, this is your day, and it isn't like your baby is going to go anywhere- they'll have all the time in the world to meet him/her so no huge rush. Also, you might prepare for people to just show up (so many people disregarded what I said when we had our son) so make sure the hospital staff knows you don't want anybody there and they will enforce it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • It's not about them! It's about you, your SO, and your baby! Just tell them that things felt really hectic last time, and you would like a more relaxed environment. Let them know you will contact them as soon as the baby is born, but that it is really important that your son get to meet the baby before anyone else. That seems perfectly reasonable, and if they have an issue with that, then that's their selfish issue, not yours. I know it's always easier said than done, but you will never regret making this the best experience possible, and you might have a harder time saying no when you are trying to focus on breathing through the pain. Good luck!

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:44 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

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