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Should I tell or not?

Ok this is my situation. My boyfriends brother wife and I have become good friends to the point that she asked me to be her daughter's godmother. So I know a secret that she has no idea that this happen. The secret is that a wile ago her man slept in various occasions with my boyfriends ex girlfriend wile my boyfriend was still with her and his brother was with his girl. So basically he cheated on his girl with my boyfriends ex. His girl will put her hands on fire sure of the fact that her man has never cheated on her. I know is not my business but sometimes I feel like if I am not being a true friend by not letting her know but then again I do not like being a snitch and as much as she would not give a pigeons behind and not care if my relationship gets destroy and will go ahead and tell me something like that if it happened to me I would not like to see her relationship go down because of this. What can i do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • i would tell her or send her an anon letter. wouldnt you like to know if your boyfriend could possibly bring you an STD? I'd want to know. Plus, i wouldnt want to be made a fool of and that's what he's doing. While she sits at home saying Oh I love my man, he's so good to me, he's banging some chick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • i wouldn't, ignorance is bliss. don't ruin what they have bc you feel like you would want to know. and what can she do about it now? it doesn't take the hurt away and she doesn't need the stress. if it ever came out i wouldn't say yay or nay to any of it. just be her friend and be there for her as you would want her there for you. and what if her bf denies it and says you are lying about the whole thing? then you are without a good friend. don't induce drama.

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:44 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Is he continuing to cheat? Or was this a mistake that he regrets?
    I say if her man is no longer cheating and has recommitted himself to their relationship. It is not your place to destroy that. Don't let his mistake destroy her happiness.

    However if he is continuiing to cheat and potentially putting her health at risk (STDs) then I think you have a moral obligation to tell her.

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:47 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • On the time that you know for sure your bf brother is going out with these woman make some kind of an arrangement to where some how you guys end up meeting somewhere like a conincidence and then go from there. You cannot tell her she needs to find out for herself just to be safe just worry about your own backyard :) Sooner or later he will get caught.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • If he has chosen to be with her and is not cheating anymore, then I wouldn't bring it to light. You could disrupt a relationship that is actually currently at its best. You know what I mean?

    Answer by lowencope at 7:00 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I disagree with most of the other posts. Id let he know that he did it if I knew for a fact. I was married and cheated on the entire time and the people who knew never let me in on it. I felt so cheated and disgusted. She deserves to know.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 7:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • what do you mean, what they have, ruin a relationship, what do they have, lies, cheating, decieving and possible STD's, Aids people, thats scary stuff. I'm in the medical field and see stuff like that all the time. I'd never keep something like that from a friend, especially if there is a child involved. The same lips that are on a strange woman, kissing her, oral sex, are the same lips he kisses his child with. Lets think about that one for a moment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • The messenger is ALWAYS shot! Don't tell. It's not your job to tell, nor is it really even your business to tell. If it were currently happening.....PERHAPS...but even if it were happening right now......THE MESSENGER IS ALWAYS SHOT!

    This is what tell.....their relationship suffers a little bit; perhaps even a break up.....but now the guys hates you....and to a certain point, so does the girl.......they get back together....................the girl wants to remain close with you, but she's not allowed to....or it's just too much hassle in her "repaired" relationship to bother with you. YOU end up looking like the bad guy and family functions are very awkward.

    I don't know what it is about girls....but they will (almost) always side with the cheater....*whiney voice* "Because I love him....."


    It's not worth it dear. Put it out of your mind.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 7:41 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You're gonna lose your relationship with her if you tell her, if she truely believes he has never cheated, she WILL NOT believe you, she will get mad at you and will not talk to you anymore. It will only bring her heart ache if you tell you. Don't be the one to bring on those feelings for her cause chances are, she is just going to stay with him and everything will just be the same anyway except she is hurt and you are out of the picture.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

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