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Why is he with me?

At the moment I live with my boyfriend who I'm engaged to and also 5 months pregnant of. We keep having arguments because we have completely different education and he as certain addictions like porn wich I do not agree with. A couple of years ago I started to gain weight so when he met me I had already gained afterward he started complaining about me being fat, he constantly compares me and looks at women in front of me, the other day told me that his brother gf who is 16 is more woman than me. I found out that he went to his brother and told him that I do not turn him on and that I'm fat and a whole bunch of other things but at the same time he is very sweet and shows me "that he cares" He as gotten to a point that he cries and begs me not to leave him but he told his brother that he does not care if I left him. I do not understand him because he acts with split personality and is driving me crazy. Shld i continue dis?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:44 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • maybe he is just trying to be macho in front of his brother
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 6:45 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Sounds like he's sweet only when he wants something from you. Telling you you're fat, comparing you and looking at other women in front of you says the opposite. Don't put up with it. You can do better!
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 6:49 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • maybe he's just saying these things to you to continue sleeping with you until he finds someone else. I think the baby will just add on to your problems and once it gets here you'll see his true colors
    Shyma

    Answer by Shyma at 6:50 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Leave him.... seriously, if he can't be supportive of you (Hellllooo??? You're pregnant - you're not SUPPOSED to be super-skinny!!!) and love you for who you are instead of what you look like... why would you be with HIM? Honey, you deserve WAY better than this! I'd sit him and his brother down (so he cant deny he said those things) and start off wih "it really hurts my feelings when you say things like *****" I mean, somebody's lying, right? Either him or his brother... tell him you want the brother there so that no ones words can get twisted around and misused - kinda like a referee.

    Good Luck!
    MunchiesMom324

    Answer by MunchiesMom324 at 6:51 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Making you feel like shit all the time is abusive. I would leave him, it will send a message. If he wants you back, set up an appointment with a couples counselor. Tell him if he wants you back to meet you at the counselors at such and such time.


     


    BTW  What a D*ck.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I'm anon :52, I just want to add that your man should go out of his way to make you feel good about yourself. Thats called a healthy relationship.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I can't tell you why he is with you, but I can tell you that this is not healthy. People in loving relationships should not strive to hurt one another emotionally or physically. Sure sometimes we act out in anger and the heat of the moment. But this doesn't sound like that, unless I am understanding the situation incorrectly. Mature relationships are more than physical attraction (after all this wanes with time no matter how hard we try and fight it).

    If I were you, i would be asking myself how I could change this situation for the better? Why my man feels this way ,is this really my issue or his? Perhaps its not about your weight but his own insecurity and fear about the responsiblities of fatherhood. Maybe he is trying to drive you away so he doesn't have to face those or look like the bad guy.
    FuzNet

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:57 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • sounds like a womanizer who is verbally abusive. I would strongly suggest premarital counseling or finding someone else who respects you.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 7:08 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • The real question shouldnt be why is he with me.. but "why are YOU with HIM?"
    maybebaby83

    Answer by maybebaby83 at 7:25 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Why are you w/ him if he makes you feel this way? Best to get out and find someone who will treat you w/ the respect you deserve.
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 7:27 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

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