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someone...PLZ!!! I need help!!

so ive been with my DH for 3years and married for a lil over a year. well i have recently just cheated on him.with someone who i should have stopped with at the first kiss.but i kept it going.well i had sex with him and now idk what to do. i dont have feelings for the guy but idk what made me want to do it in the first place. we both feel bad b/c the person i slept with is my DH's cousin. I know go ahead for all you haters, call me all the names you want but i really dont care and dont know why i wanted to do it in the first place. Is there anyone out there that can relate or tell me why i let this happened? My friend thinks its just a phase. or that my DH wasnt satisfying me. IDK. I mean all of this just feels like a dream. i have never done this before so that is why i am so confused and dont know what to think!! so someone plz help me!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • NEVER tell dh what happen and don't do it again. We all make mistakes. Learn from it and don't repeat it. If you find yourself repeating it anyway then you may need some counseling or at least tell dh you need more attention. That's usually why many women cheat. Dh needs to step up to the plate and take care of your needs physically and emotionally.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:06 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Because sometimes people get in to the excitement of it and work themselves up to the point where it seems like it would be an awesome experience, then, once they do it, reality sets in and they're left feeling guilty and wondering why they thought it would be good for them.It's called self-deception.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You're immature and you lack impulse control. I'm not here to dish you hatred because I'm sure you'll get enough. Nothing MADE you do this besides your own choices. Doesn't matter what your man is doing or lack thereof, you made your choice, own it like a big girl. Fess up and tell him the truth; otherwise you're just living a lie and wasting a person's life in the mean time.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:13 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • dang your husbands cousin you live in the south or something?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Sweetie everyone likes to experience new things. I have been down the same road. Only not with my husbands relative or mine for the matter, lol, but some people just need to see if the grass is really greener on the other side. I told my husband about it, and we are still together. Honesty is the hardest thing for anyone to do, but you may need to talk to him about and he needs to know just how bad you felt about the situation and if he really cares and loves you, then he will be understanding and maybe you guys can work through it. If you are extremely happy with your husband and you love him and dont tell him, it will eat at you for the rest of your life. Trust me had that happen to, unless you just dont care then of coarse it wont, but you seem like you do...I would at least talk to husband, the longer you wait the harder it will get. Best of luck...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • you know what they say. . you made your bed, you lie in it. . .if youre truely sorry. .talk to your DH MAYBE y'all can work it out. .but don't be surprised if he has a hard time with it.
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 10:15 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Anonymous 10:14, You're immature.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Women need to feel beautiful and wanted and you were probably getting attention from this guy that maybe you weren't getting at home. A similar situation happened to me the best thing you can do is be honest with your husband, thats what i did i told my husband the truth and we separated for a couple months but now here we are still together and it's been 3 years since it happened. We're stronger than ever. I will not post this anonymously so if you need to talk, you may message me.
    teresalangston

    Answer by teresalangston at 10:18 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I've been there as well. I cheated on my husband and at first I didn't really know why. Its taken me a year of therapy after many different men and the final affair. In my case not only did I discover I was bipolar I and had gone completely manic from being on anti-depressants alone, but also my relationship with my husband was already falling apart and I just didn't realize it. I craved the attention, I craved the emotional connection, I craved someone making me a priority (or what seemed like it) and above all I craved the control I had over the others. It could've been the heat of the moment, an emotional need being met or maybe you just wanted to try something new. However whatever the reason you owe your husband the truth. I came clean and moved out for 7 months. I'm moving home in Jan, we have a long road ahead of us, but I'm hopeful our relationship will be stronger as we continue to work on it.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:59 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • Legalmommy101 pretty much said what needed to be said. NOTHING justifies what you did. You made the choice, the concious choice to keep going. The only reason you're claiming "I don't know why" is to get sympathy from others that maybe you were in some way out of control of this situation. You weren't. You admitted to knowing that you should've stopped, but you chose to continue anyway. You decided to take it to the next level knowing full well that you were married to another man. Own a pair and own up to what you've done. Tell your husband what you've done and let him make a choice as to whether he wants to continue with you or not. Don't waste his time with you if you cannot be faithful. It's pretty sad that it's only been a year and you already can't keep your pants on outside the house. Grow up and own up to what you've done.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:04 PM on Dec. 9, 2009