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How soon is too soon for children?

My husband and I are ready for a family. We've been together for 2 1/2 years and were married on October 31. Our families however have two different theories...his family wants us to have kids now....my family thinks we need to wait....his family and my family both think we should have only 2 children, we want a large family of 6-8 children and my family feels that we should be on some form of birth control and lie to the Catholic church about it....we are both against birth control. Is it too soon in our marriage to start trying for a baby?

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IrishEyes2286

Asked by IrishEyes2286 at 11:29 PM on Dec. 9, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Do what you feel is right for you and your husband.
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 11:34 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • I say do what YOU want to do...In the end the only one who has to live everyday with your decision is you and hubby:-)
    Dayija

    Answer by Dayija at 11:35 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • You two need to focus on your marriage and your family and stop worrying about what your extended family says. I'm guessing that you and your husband are young since you are still so concerned with what your parent's want for your lives.

    I'm having my 3rd baby next week. My oldest is 3 years old and my youngest is 20 months old. Both my mom and my MIL cried when we told them we were pregnant again because neither wanted us to have more than 2 children. My husband and I are grown adults. This is our family. We provide financially for our children and are the ones raising and nurturing them so who cares what our mothers wanted for us?
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:46 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • What they have should have absolutely no effect on what you two ultimately decide. My husband and I got pregnant before we got married. We knew we wanted a life together, kids, our own home and everything. We ended up doing things backwards. We got pregnant, got married, got pregnant again, bought a house. It worked out for us, because we chose for it to be that way. We both came together and decided what was best for our family. If you and your hubbs don't get on the same page then it doesn't matter what route you take. You'll ultimately end up in ditch. Soo get together with your hubbs and get on the same page about what YOU TWO want. Forget about what mom wants or dad wants, and figure out what YOU TWO want. If babies are in your near future or distant future it doesn't matter, it's up to YOU.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:55 PM on Dec. 9, 2009

  • i say if u want kids have them and stop listing to everyone else if u want them then have them i mean its really up to you and ur hubby
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 1:41 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Dont let your family make the decisions for your own family. This is between you and your husband. Have children when you feel you are ready.
    This is also between you, DH, and God. A church is not a God. God will let you know if birth control is ok or not. if your parents are worried that you may not be able to provide for that many children, then maybe you are not being realistic. If you can provide for all of those children by YOURSELVES then you will only need eachother's opinion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I think you should wait a little while, a year at least. Just enjoy each other for awhile :) You sound pretty religious so I'm guessing you've only been living together since Oct? Maybe take some more time to settle into you life together. You have your whole lives together to have children.

    DH (Cafemom for Dear Husband) and I were together for 3 years before we got married and then waited 2 more years before TTC, we even expected that to take longer so we were surprised to find out we were having a baby after the 1st month without protection! DH proposed after one year together and then we moved in together, so we had four years living together before we even conceived, almost 5 years by the time our daughter was born. I wouldn't trade our time together with just the two of us for anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I don't know how old you are either, but if you're both really young then that's even more reason not to rush it! I was 26 when I had my daughter and I'm glad we waited a little while.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • If you are not using birth control now, it will probably be a matter of time before that family gets started-LOL! I think you and your husband should make the choice and not worrry about what your family says, unless you guys had problems before you got married, I can't imagine why they feel this is their business to worry about! Good luck, and happy practicing!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:51 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • You can only do what is right for you. My in-laws are Catholic and my MiL didn't understand why I didn't want to get pregnant immediately like she did. If you don't want to get pregnant and don't want to use a barrier or chemical method of birth control, you might want to look into Natural Family Planning. I've been monitoring my temperature and ovulation signs and can basically tell you when I'm the most or least fertile. Check out http://www.fertilityfriend.com

    AlyKen

    Answer by AlyKen at 4:14 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

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