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How many times can you forgive a cheating husband?

My husband works out of the country and I caught him cheating on me BUT the affair is online. The other woman is in another country, they meet each other in a chat room. They consider themselves husband and wife. It was made known to me through an information given by a "concerned friend of theirs", in that chat room. I saw an avatar of them both, posed together. I don't feel good about it. My husband didn't do this the first time. I don't know how far will I ever endure this! Please help.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 AM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • 0 to once max!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I would never deal with a cheating spouse, Never. But thats just me I've had friends to forgive and forget once and now have a strong and happy relationship. If you forgive him once and he does it again, I think its fair to say he's habitual and is only going to continue.

    Answer by trevsrockinmom at 3:41 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • An affair even if online is still an affair. He shouldn't pretend being someone else husband. He is yours. Now there are as many marriages as there are people on earth so it depends what you are ready to accept in your own one.

    I think I would forgive once because a marriage is worth fighting for but I agree with trevsrockinmom : if you forgive him once and he does it again then he will never stop.

    Answer by ajc03 at 4:38 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I think this is one of those things that you have to experience to know for sure what you will do. I have never been cheated on, that I know of, so right now I can say without a doubt that the first time my husband cheats on me will be the last. I cant stay with someone who will sleep with other people. Maybe if I was actually in the situation I would think differently, but if this is the 2nd time your SO has cheated, then it would be a done deal for me, it would be over!

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:41 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • 0 times, it only gives them permission to keep cheating if you forgive them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • once, and only if YOU can live with it and somehow get over it. Leave this jerk, you deserve a better guy!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • How many times has your husband asked you to forgive him? If he isn't truly sorry for the pain that his infidelity causes you, if he isn't truly sorry to the point that he promises to forever stop breaking your heart, and outright asks for your forgiveness, then it can't happen, not even once. You can choose to not be bitter about it, but there is no chance for restoration of the relationship unless he wants it and asks you for it. It sounds like he may be perfectly happy with his behavior. If that's the case, it may be time for an ultimatum. I would not divorce him. That should be his decision and not yours, since I gather you would prefer to keep your marriage intact. You must hold him accountable for his actions which means there have to be some consequences for his behavior. Set yourself some boundaries and then enforce them. Your hubby needs to grow up and some tough love might just help him to do so.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:17 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • There is no forgiveness in my book. A man like that will be like that for life, there is no changing him.

    Answer by older at 7:26 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • he will continnue to cheat

    Answer by apple31 at 7:59 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • You deserve someone to treat you like the special and unique person you are. So either this guy treats you awesome or you find someone who will. If you think counseling would help try, maybe he just has some issues to work on.


    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 8:42 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

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