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Should i give Tom a chance and move in with him and let him adopt my kids?

I met a great guy named Tom and we have been talking for a month or two and get to know each other over the phone. Me and My finacee Van just broke up in October have a 2 year old daughter and one on the way with him. My Daughters name is Savannah and I'm 3 months pregnant. Van loves Savannah but is denying the baby. He doesn't want nothing to do with me anymore but he takes it out on Savannah. She has not heard from him in a month and he doesn't send her anything no money not even for her birthday. Tom wants me to move to Albama with him, adopt my kids and get married

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Asked by Hanna3 at 8:49 AM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I would NOT move out of state and marry a man that I have known for a month or two....

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 8:51 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • No way! I'm sorry to hear about your other troubles but I think making that move would add to your problems! If the guy is that into you, he can move to where your at, if he really cared about you or your kids he wouldn't even be asking that you uproot them. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • NOOOOOOOOOOO! its not safe. there are too many horror stories out there. You need to know someone longer.

    Answer by motherwanting6 at 9:11 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Are you serious? You've "known" this man for a month or two & you're considering putting the safety of your daughters at risk? You don't know this man, you've never met him, he can tell you whatever it is that you want to hear over the phone & be anybody you need him to be. Many sex offenders & predators prey on single moms w/ relationship issues bc they want access to the kids. If "Tom" moves you out of state he takes you out of your protective bubble & can abuse you & the girls, then what are you gonna do? Sorry your dd's daddy is such an asshole but at least you know what to expect w/ him cuz you know him. Focus on your life w/ your babies & worry bout the daddy part of it later. They are better off w/ out a man in their lives then either of these two losers. Just bc you are lonely & want companionship is no reason to put you & your kids in danger. If "Tom" is such a great guy & has all this money to move you then

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:13 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • have him come visit you for a bit, like 2 weeks if possible, so you can see how you interact together in real life. Being around someone & watching their actions is the only way to determine if he's the right guy for you. Watch for inconsistencies & red flags & don't be blinded by your infatuation to him. Slow things down & really get to know him, you owe your daughter's innocence that much.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:15 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Um NO, you haven't been single that long and you've never met this person. Be on your own for a while. Find your self worth.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:19 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • No...

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:22 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • No Way! If it sounds to good to be true it probbaly is. Take it slow and be on your own while you get to know him. Dont focus on a relationship, focus on setting up your life and a way to provide stabiblty to your kids. They need the attention focused on them now more than ever.

    Answer by ria7 at 9:48 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • no way, one or two months is WAY to soon......

    Answer by mereinhart28 at 9:56 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Dont' let your hunger for love and attention cost you a pile of heart ache. TAKE YOUR TIME. You just broke up with your ex. Take some time for YOU. Take care of your kids, slow things down with this guy, he is moving WAAYYY too fast. You don't want to do something you will regret. If he cares for you, he will wait.

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 10:54 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

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