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cheating friend...

my close friend is having lots of marital problems. she cheated on her husband 5 years ago, (right before he was to be deployed to Iraq) he stayed with her, they "worked" things out and now he is flipping out and telling her he is going to leave her. She is totally freaked out. I don't know what to say or do to make her feel any better. she has been my friend since high school, is there anything I can do to help ease her mind?? I tell her that I'm here for her, I just don't know what else to say!

 
mereinhart28

Asked by mereinhart28 at 9:46 AM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (72 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • So tell her to bring up the cheating thing w/ the counselor, if they don't deal w/ it then they can't move past it. Good for them for being in counseling to begin w/. So many, especially soldiers have a hard time admitting when they need help. Could it possibly be that he's cheated on her & feels guilty so he's bringing up the past to make himself feel better & to cover what he did? WOULDN'T MENTION THIS TO YOUR FRIEND!!! Just asking what the possibility is, not saying this is what's happening. There's nothing more you can do then what you're already doing. Just keep doing it.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:22 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • That's all you can do is be there for her. Stay out of her problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • You cant fix their marriage problems all you can do is listen and give advice if you can. It is sooo hard to watch a friend get hurt but just be there for her the best you can.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:49 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • When did he get back? How many times has he been deployed? I think you just need to listen, and be there for her, and suggest they go to counseling, your a good friend!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:56 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • he got back about 3 years ago. they have a 3 year old son, and he came home about 2 months after he was born. they are in counseling, but he doesn't want to talk about the cheating thing with the counsler. she is so frustrated and I feel bad for her. I care for both of them and it's hard to see them going through this!
    mereinhart28

    Answer by mereinhart28 at 10:05 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • 5 years ago? Wow it is still an issue? She needs to move on and work on her marriage and forget 5 years ago.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • she is not the problem, he is the one that is holding on to the fact that she made a really dumb mistake 5 years ago...she doesn't want to move on, she wants to stay with her husband and child and work on their lives together. he is only now after 5 years saying that he doesn't want to be with her because of what she did.
    mereinhart28

    Answer by mereinhart28 at 12:29 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • Something else is going on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • tell her that if it is meant to be it will be. if it didnt bother him for 5 yrs and it does now... i would doubt that is the Real problem... more of an excuse.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:37 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • 5 years ago is like she prolly forgot what the dude looks like. Come on there is much more going on. I wish them luck and tell her to hold her head up high and be strong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

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