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how young is too young to discipline?

my charlotte is almost 2 (in jan) and ive always just done a quik (but lite)swat on the diaper, or raised my voiced. but i feel like im turning into my mom. i dont want to hit at all, but she is so persistant and whiny sometimes, i cant think of anything else to get her attention quickly. i have never been violent, and have always been swift to find her, but id like to know when will timeouts start being effective, and is she too young to understand me when i tell her what she did wrong? thanks.

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charlottesmom23

Asked by charlottesmom23 at 10:35 AM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • time outs were never really effective in my house. my son was easy, if he wanted to throw a fit I seperated him from me. Put him in a room and told him that when he was done he could come out. My daughter was whiney and threw tantrums alot, I pretty much did the same with her. When she would whine I would tell her that she is whinning and that I didn't listen to whine. If she continued I put her in her room till she stopped. I also had NO problem swatting my kids when they needed it and I also had no problem raising my voice when need be. They are now 16 and 10 and we all survived the toddler years. Different things work for different kids. Sometimes natural consequences work well. When my kids would do something that I told them not to because they would get hurt, I would just let nature take it's course. If they fell, I didn't make an issue out if
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:40 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • We do time outs for our 20m/o. We put her on the floor to physically make her low, and don't engage her. I always say "we don't ___" and then put her on time out. We wait 30sec to a min and then ask her "Do we ___? (give chance to answer) No. we don't. No ___" and then give her a hug. If she repeats a behavior quickly, I try to remove her from the situation or redirect her if her behavior isn't dangerous (and almost never punish her for just being whiney/annyong- it usually just means I'm tired and not thinking of the best way to engage her). In the few times she still acts out, we put her in her crib and leave for five mins. I don't think you need to do something abrupt (like spanking or yelling) to get her attention unless she's actually in danger. We only yell if she could get seriously hurt and never spank. If you want to get a message across, you have to emphasize the words, not your tone or physical violence
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 10:47 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • We do time outs for our 20m/o. We put her on the floor to physically make her low, and don't engage her. I always say "we don't ___" and then put her on time out. We wait 30sec to a min and then ask her "Do we ___? (give chance to answer) No. we don't. No ___" and then give her a hug. If she repeats a behavior quickly, I try to remove her from the situation or redirect her if her behavior isn't dangerous (and almost never punish her for just being whiney/annyong- it usually just means I'm tired and not thinking of the best way to engage her)....

    Good one, thanks very much.
    Emmagr

    Answer by Emmagr at 10:50 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • She in not too young. Even infants understand you. They may not agree or listen, but they do understand. :) Anyone who's ever toddler a child crawling somewhere they aren't supposed to can tell you. They look at you like "yeah right, I'm doing it anyway" and then do it anyway! :)

    But what works for you depends on your child. Mine responded well to quick taps on the bottom. I set her down afterwards. Over time, I stopped the swat and just set her down for time out and she knew what it meant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • nothing is really ever QUICK when ti comes to discipline, it has to be consistant and starting it means it does take time, and tons of distraction and there have been times I can't take my son on errands because he doesn't listen. We started time outs at 16 months, and when he throws tantrums or whines instead of using his words, he goes in his room until he's ready to come out and tell me, he just turned 2 in Nov and it works for him
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:41 AM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I did the swatting on the wrist thing for a few months, but now that hes two, I do spank my child. ONLY when he needs it. I do time outs too. I think its ok to spank a child, it teaches them what is wrong and right. I wasnt spanked I was HIT and there is HUGE difference.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I started my daughter on time outs when she was about 11 months old. You need to be consistant and always follow through. It will be rough at first, she wont want to be on time out, she will probably try to get up. Dont let her. This will be a battle of wills and you need to be the one who comes out on top.
    HaydensMommy007

    Answer by HaydensMommy007 at 5:30 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • my technique has just developed and changed as my son grows. when he first started getting into stuff, i would correct and redirect him. then he started getting defiant (around a year) and i had to step it up. he gets timeouts or things taken away for most offenses. however, there are some things that i'll pop him on the bottom for... like pulling his hand out of mine and running into the street. i think that you know your child and should try to tailor your approach to what will help her learn in the longrun.
    nemiller

    Answer by nemiller at 9:57 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

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