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How can I get my kid to listen to me and do as he is told?

My 3 year old never listens. I ask him to pick up his toys and he tells us no. He yell and runs around the house and just will not listen. I need help!! He is driving me crazy. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. We have tried time outs and taking away toys, and spankings. I just can't seem to get anything to work. Please help!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Dec. 10, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • be calm. dont yell.

    try to give two choices from the start... I like to make them fun. Do you want to pick up the toy with your hands or with your elbows. do you think you could get dressed faster while jumping or while singing really loud.

    If he absolutley refuses, get down at his level, look him right in the eyes, place a hand softly on his back, and calmly say... you need to pick up your toys now. Do not get up, do not walk away, stay calm, with a loving look, and be quiet. Stay there until he gets it done. If he runs away you need to calmly follow get down to his level and do it again. The first number of times this will take a long time and frustrate the hell out of you... but you need to out last him.

    I think these two tricks work great if you have a child who is simply being stuborn... not if there is an underlying emotional/physical issue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I usually have to break it down...pick up the babies and put them in the basket, pick up the blocks and put them in the tote. If I just say pick up the toys, it's too much for her to comprehend.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:16 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • use what doctor phil calls emotional currency (currency like money) what does your son value? use it against him. if he loves tv or whatever, when he doesnt listen, he loses it, and you do have to be 100% consistent or it will become an empty threat. i relate, my son can be a hellion some days... just remember to pick your battles. you could also do reward charts. i do that with teeth brushing because he would run from it, he hates it. so if he does it when i ask without running away or crying or giving me grief then he gets a sticker on a chart of 20 (i can give you a website to print them for free or you could easily draw a 20 square grid) and just draw smiley faces on them if you dont have stickers. it can make it more positive. and when he fills it up my son gets a toy, he is 4 and doesnt seem to notice i take him to the dollar store to get that toy yet.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:21 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • I personally disagree with chart = toys.

    You will get yourself into the pattern of everything deserves a reward. Next grades will = money. ect ect ect.

    I have 2 teens I know, I have been there. You need to get them to listen because it is the right thing to do. Like poster one said - fun choices can be a great tool. And like poster 2 said - start small and work up.

    In life we must do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.... even if we hate it, even if it is hard, even if even if even it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Dec. 10, 2009

  • My three year old usually doesn't listen the first time either. But, one thing I never do is let it go and let him get away with not doing what I've aksed of him.

    He often ignores me the first time I ask him to pick up his toys. After that I do one of two things. I either tell him he can clean up his mess or go to his room until he's ready to clean it up. Or I tell him that if I have to clean it up, I'll be putting them all in a garbage bag.

    He is also more likely to comply when I make a game out of things, which can take a lot of energy lol, but it's nice to have them comply without threat of punishment. We sometimes have a rough time doing daily self care tasks like dressing, bathing, brushing teeth. He can get really silly and distracted and it makes the whole thing difficult. If I pretend I'm a robot while we're doing these things, it engages him and he cooperates with whatever I'm doing.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 7:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2009

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